How do I kill my dog?

I only have three months left of high school. Three months, and I’m finally off to college. But there’s a snag: my dog Ruffles (Annoying barky Pomeranian). I have no one to take her, and I have no intention to. I’ve always asked my parents to euthanize her since I was a kid, but they always refused.<br><br>But now they’re abroad, and Ruffles is under my care. Now’s my chance. I’ve tried feeding her chocolates, but I think she’d have to eat a whole factory for anything to happen. I need to know how to kill her quickly and painlessly. I’ve tried strangulation, drowning, and even electrocution, and none of them seem to work. I don’t want her to suffer.<br><br>Finally, I had an idea: I was a pro at scratching her. I once accidentally scratched her eye, and it only healed after two months. I’d just scratch her over and over again, until she died. Should I hold her in a headlock and aim for the eyes with my other hand, or hold her by her throat? Or should I try something else?<br><br>I don’t want her to suffer, and I don’t want to get in trouble, but I really have no one to take her in for me. And I would definitely have no one to take care of her for me once they realize what I’d tried to do.<br><br>EDIT: I finally did it, and I’m realizing it isn’t as good as I thought it’d be. I used a chokehold to hold her, and scratched straight through her eye and into her brain. It only took three scratches. No one saw me.<br><br>I feel guilty. She was an annoying dog, but I think it was because I was an unstable owner. I bugged her when she slept or tried to eat, and I teased her whenever I was bored. I couldn’t even properly train her. The only reason she’s housebroken is because she doesn’t like to piss anywhere. She’s also the only dog I’ve heard of that can stand being called a bitch (just like actually calling a real bitch a bitch gets you beat up). She’s probably one of the most loyal dogs ever; she’d always try to play along with my newfound interests, whether it was Anime, English or Spanish, Photography, Fashion Design, Anime again, or even Werewolf.<br><br>I feel betrayed by how simple it was, and how small she was, and how I was always right. I thought that dogs were a challenge, but I realize now that dogs have no idea what they’re doing. And I spent the last ten years of my life thinking that it was the other way around, and that I must have been at fault. About half the times she’d piss in the house, it was because I didn’t take her outside on time (I’d always try to squeeze in extra time to play with her). And now that I realize that I’ve been taking advantage of her innocence, I feel even more guilty.<br><br>I only noticed this in hindsight after she had long died. It’s in the way she’d stare at me with her black eyes, even after I scratched out her good eye. She never realized what was happening. Poor girl, she was just a dog after all.<br><br>After that, I put on the music from the trailer of Werewolf By Night, and put her corpse in a trash bag with a few framed pictures of me, my friends, and a Werewolf cover. I only scratched out her one eye because it reminded me of a character from this terrible Anime (last reference, I swear). And I spent the rest of the day not crying and imagining what I’d do in Werewolf if I was a Werewolf.<br><br>EDIT#2: Wow, this blew up. For the people who found this post: I thought I deleted this post. I assure you this is not real. It’s just a fictional story that I was pretty into and decided to post, though in hindsight, it sounds like it’s actually real. Thank you all for your concern.