It's been 11 years since I last had sex. I'm 24 and a virgin.

My first time was when I was 13 but my friend was on drugs and drunk so it didn't go well. I was so drunk I forgot my secret first that I had sex with a girl. She wasn't my girlfriend but I thought we were in a relationship. She lied about being bi and talked about it in a bad way. She was years older than me and with experience. She was bi with a female but only wanted me because she was bored. I felt stupid, used, and discarded like a disposable cup. She said to me "you can't talk about this" I felt like I was in prison being that girl had sex with a girl. She told me to go on a diet with my stupid voice and body. I've always been in prison and never got out. I'm a prisoner and I'm in chains. The last time I saw a girl was 7 years ago and she was a friend I tried talking to. She scared me because she was on acid with guys and asked me if I wanted to try it and I said no. I was scared. I don't remember the last time I saw a girl or had a conversation. I don't have a voice. I'm only on this site because I have a speech impediment. I'm not a prisoner, I'm an animal and I'm in a cage. I bite myself when I'm nervous and I don't have a voice or arms to hug people so I bite my arms in bed. I'm an animal and I'm starving and thirsty when I see girls. I'm an animal and I should be shot and put down. So, that's my story. I'm 24 and I have no problem with girls talking shit about me. I'm an animal and I'm disgraceful.