My (F27) son (M4) said something to his dad (M33) that hurt his feelings. How can I make my son understand he shouldn’t have said that?

I’ve been separated from my sons dad for three years but we live in the same house. The reason we’re separated is irrelevant. <br><br>I’m currently pregnant and the father is another guy. My sons dad found out a few days ago. In the process of him telling people I told my son as well. He’s had a hard time understanding why he won’t have a dad, but will have two moms. I tried my best to explain it to him in a way he’d understand. <br><br>Yesterday he had to stay home from school because of a headache and when I came home from work, his dad had already left for work. My son immediately told me “good I don’t like him anyway” I asked why and he said because he doesn’t have a job anymore. My sons dad recently got fired from his job due to not showing up on time. He worked nights so he would sleep most of the day. He would also leave for work late. His job required him to be there at 6pm but he wouldn’t leave until 5:30. <br><br>After that my son said “I don’t like you either so you can go too” and then I asked why and he said “you had a baby in your tummy and the daddy isn’t me” I was very shocked because he doesn’t talk like that. He doesn’t say mean things like that. I asked him “what do you mean the daddy isn’t you? Do you think you’re the daddy? Do you know what a dad is?” And he said “yeah, I don’t have one so I’m the daddy” I felt bad because I just realized he doesn’t know what a dad is. I asked if he knows what a mommy is and he said “the mommy is the one that gives birth to the baby. The daddy is the one that works and buys food.” So I told him “so you’re the daddy then, I’m the mommy, and we both work.” He said “I don’t work though” and then I realized that he thinks a dad is just a provider (someone who works and provides for the family) I explained to him what a father is and how he can be a dad even if he’s just 4. I told him even though we’re not together, his dad still loves him very much and he’s still his dad and always will be. <br><br>The next day his dad got home and I told him what our son said. My sons dad got very emotional when I told him what our son said. He cried after work and before work the next day. He said he feels like a failure of a dad and he really wants to be a better dad. I’ve been giving him advice on how to be a better dad but I don’t think he listens. <br><br>My sons dad is currently in therapy and counseling. He’s working hard to get a new job but hasn’t had any luck. He works hard to find a job but it’s just not happening. <br><br>I want my son to understand that what he said shouldn’t have been said but I want to say it in a way he’ll understand. I want to make sure he knows he hurt his dads feelings but I also want him to understand why his dad reacted like that. I want to make sure I tell him in a way that will make him feel bad for what he said but also understand what’s going on.