I was shot in the head 2 weeks ago. I'm doing this on my phone because my speech is fucked. I'm angry

I was shot 2 weeks ago. The bullet went straight through my head. I'm angry because I'm not supposed to be alive. I was shot in the temple, and the bullet went through my brain and left out of my eye socket, taking my eye with it. It didn't bounce off my skull, it went through my brain. I should be dead. The doctors keep telling me how I should be dead. I lost my left eye and my hearing on my left side. But I'm alive. I'm mostly functional, though I'm having trouble with my speech. I have a long road to recovery ahead of me. But I'm alive, and I'm angry. <br><br>I don't get it. I don't know why this happened to me. I get that random shit can happen to anyone at any time, but this? I lost my eye and my hearing and I have a huge hole in my head that my hair is never going to grow back over. I'm stuck with this shit for the rest of my life. Why? <br><br>I've never been someone to complain about shit. I always say, "At least my parents are alive. At least I have food on the table. At least my life is not shitty enough to warrant me killing myself."<br><br>But this. This is beyond anything I can handle. I don't know what to say. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing. Nothing makes me happy.<br><br>A couple of weeks ago, I was doing fine. I didn't have any money, but I had friends and a job and a home, and I was happy. And now I don't have any of those things. I don't have a home, my friends have abandoned me, and I don't have a job. I lost everything. <br><br>I'm angry. I'm so angry. I don't know who this happened to me and I don't know why it happened to me, but I know it did. I'm angry. I want the person who did this to me to be angry too.<br><br>That's it. I'm just angry. I'm done.