MBMBMBMBMBMB (Many Biobabies Make Babyboys) + Had a bad day on the job

I'm an auditor at my current job at a large 400 person firm. I was doing a technical risk audit, reviewing data, etc. All that jazz. Anyways, I was in the home office with my supervisor, and a couple of senior auditors, and we were having a brainstorming session to discuss what our audit was gonna be specifically on. I was a bit quiet because well, I'm a bit of a loser in real life, and I don't like to be seen as the loud idiot that everyone laughs at. I had an idea for an audit objective that really would have been important, and I wrote it down, but didn't say anything. I was too nervous to say it, cause well, what if I'm wrong? What if I'm a dumb nerd? What if people laugh at me and think I'm stupid? <br><br>Anyways, the meeting was about to end, but right before the meeting ended, the auditor (a senior manager at that) said "Golden Boy, what did you think about it? Do you have any ideas?" I was like "Oh shit oh shit, they're asking specifically for me - what did I do, I shouldn't look dumb in front of them" - I was too dumb and to chicken shit to say anything. I mumbled something like "Yeah I mean I wrote it down before but I don't wanna seem stupid" - I was planning on bringing it up with my supervisor after the meeting. But the senior manager was like "yeah I agree, I think [my idea] is a great objective". <br><br>I felt like such a pussy, I wish I was able to speak up and be a more confident person, instead of letting my anxiety and shyness hold me back. I'm fucking mad about it, cause if I wasn't a pussy, I could have been a fucking legend today and they would all think I'm a winner. <br><br>Fuck.<br><br>On a side note. Everytime I interact with people, I feel like I've lost my mental and emotional capacity to do anything. I feel like I'm a zombie when I'm around people, and I wish I had the confidence and mental tools to be a happy go lucky person.