I killed myself in 1992 to escape my mother- I didn't die.

I am a male and I am talking here because I don't know who else to talk to- although I've been working with a therapist for the past two months.<br>In 1992, at the age of 16, I committed suicide by drugs- pills and booze- over a three day period. I didn't die. My mother found me and got me medical help. I survived.<br>I didn't want to hurt her and I didn't hate her or want her dead. It's just that whatever she was doing to me was so terrible I couldn't live with it, there was no way out, and I felt the only choice I had was death.<br>When I woke up in the hospital after being gone for 3 days, she looked at me, and said "Oh my God, you really did it."<br>But I didn't. Soon after that, she began hinting- and then telling people close to me- that she had saved my life by getting me to the hospital.<br>Fast forward 30 years to February 2024.<br>My son got accepted to a good college in another state, and I was so proud of him,<br>I also felt my mother Fortress of Solitude had been breached- she could no longer deny that I had moved on with my life, been successful, and that my children were not damaged by my efforts to be a good father.<br>She moved from passive-aggressive to full-on aggressive. She accused me of thinking I was better than her- in a weird way, she was right, I never felt lesser than her. She went on to remind me that she had saved my life in 1992, and I would do anything she ever asked.<br>Then, she said "You'll do anything for me, because if you don't, I'll just call the police and tell them what really happened in 1992. I protected you, and I'll just tell them everything I did for you". <br>That was it, I moved my family, got a protection order, and a restraining order, and I've been in therapy.