Truly sick people

You can't say I'm an incel, I have sex with women quite often. But I hate them with a passion I've never hated anything else. They make me sick to my stomach. I never want to be around them. But I do use them for sex. <br><br>I've been with well over 200 women, and not a single one of them has ever made me want to spend time with them doing anything other than sex. Most of them make me want to be around them even less. <br><br>I've had plenty of different experiences with women, I've had plenty of one night stands, plenty of hook ups. I've been in a couple of relationships, and I've had women that I regularly hook up with. <br><br>But no matter what, I always dislike the women I'm with. I always find myself wishing I didn't have to talk to them and that they would just leave me alone. But the problem is that I need them for sex. So I can't completely avoid them.<br><br>It makes me sick and I hate myself for it. I should be stronger, but I'm such a failure. I can't stand women but I still go back to them. I'm not even attracted to them, I'm attracted to their bodies and the fact that they have a vagina. I'm such a piece of shit.<br><br>I can't stand how emotionally vulnerable I am. I know that I will always fail. I'll always have to deal with women and I'll always hate myself for it. It's a cruel and disgusting existence we live in.