My pill addiction is killing me - literally

So I was prescribed hydrocodone for chronic back pain back in 2020. I've taken them on and off for a couple years with no real issues. The dosing was so low 5-325 once a day. <br><br>My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer in early 2023 and passed away October 2023. She went through hospice at home with me and it was a very difficult and painful process. As time went on I found myself taking more and more pills to cope with the pain and depression. I now take upwards of 30 pills a day. I'm in literal agony without them and can't cope with anything. The addiction is killing me and i don't know what I can do.<br><br>I've tried tapering down on my own but it doesn't work. I'm in such constant pain it gives me migraines. I would be so grateful if anyone has a similar story and knows anyone I could talk to. I'm desperate to not let this addiction kill me and I don't know where to turn.