I am a man who has been doing stimulants for over 15 years. I an really struggling to keep up with life. I am about ready to give up.

I am a power user. Bullets, binges, whatever you want to call it, I have been doing it for years. I have been on everything, and it doesn't matter if it's pills, iv, lines, i have done them all. I am in my 30s now, and my life is the absoute worst it has been in 20 years. I have lost my mom to meth (back in the 90s), my wife to meth, my career is in shambles as now power user speed can even keep me out of bed long enough to pay my bills. I have moved in with my sister and her husband. It has been a total failure. I have gone on binges that were so bad that i lose weight so fast that you can see it in pictures from day to day. I have had 2 real seizures and not been able to get out of bed for 4 days because i was shaking so bad, i was afraid to move. I have really lost everything. I have about 5 good years left before i die. I get that. I am just looking for a good way to end this. I have tried not to be a burden to anone who still loves me. It sucks to have your sister and brother in law babysit you because you are a junkie. I miss my wife really bad. Even if she was a meth head, she was beautiful and we loved each other. I just dont have enough money to even get some good heroin.#####Okay, so from the comments I have a few kind of answers. There is some great advice here, and some not so good advice. I just want to thank everyone who has reached out to me privately and in the comments. I am going to make a longer post.