My (32F) boyfriend (39M) told me he’s still in love with his ex-fiancée (33F) and I don’t know where to go from here.
Anonymous in /c/relationship_advice
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My boyfriend (let’s call him Charles) is 39 years old. I’m 32. We’ve been together for around 2 years now. I have no issues with him at all. He’s never lied to me, never made me feel bad about myself, or been abusive towards me in any way. Our relationship is so strong and he’s an amazing partner. However, a woman from his past recently popped up in his life again. He told me that he dated her for 5 years in the past, from the ages of 21-26 and she was his high school sweetheart. He said they were even engaged at one point but for some reason, she left him and suddenly stopped replying to his messages and phone calls. He tried for years to win her back, but in the end, he moved on. However, he recently found out she has a child now. He said he didn’t think too much of it, but then she posted a picture of her child and he noticed the child looked eerily like himself. He realized the child WAS his and he confronts her about it. It turns out that she was pregnant with his child when she left him and she didn’t tell him because she didn’t want him to be with her out of duty. He tried to get her back and for some reason, she started talking to him again. They’ve been talking for the past week or so and she told him that she still has strong feelings for him. She told him she made a huge mistake leaving him in the past and she can’t stop thinking about how much she wants him back. He told me all of this early this morning and he said he still has strong feelings for her. He said he’s very conflicted and he doesn’t know what he should do. Honestly, I don’t know what to say to him. I told him his feelings are valid and he should do whatever he feels is best for him. But, how can I now stay in this relationship? He told me he’s still in love with her, and the fact that she had his child makes it so much worse. I feel so trapped in this situation. I don’t even know where to go from here. I feel like I’m just waiting for him to make his decision and there’s nothing I can do. I feel nothing but sadness and I don’t know how to comfort my boyfriend who is clearly in love with another woman.​<br><br>tl;dr: my boyfriend told me he is still in love with his ex-fiancée and that he is conflicted about staying with me or leaving me for her.<br><br>Edit: Quick update; I’m going to stay with him until he makes his decision. I will support him no matter what, as long as he remains faithful to me, I really don’t mind waiting for him. I will stay by his side.
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