I (25F) didn't want to spend Christmas with my BF (27M) and his family after learning that he doesn't see me as a long-term partner.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We live together. He's always respectful and has taken me on many trips. We have a really good relationship. But when he's with his friends and family, I always feel like an outsider. I think part of it is because of cultural differences as well. He's Latin, I'm white American. <br><br>Last year, we spent Christmas at his parents house in Miami. It was a fun trip but after a couple of days I was extremely bored. He had a lot of obligations with his family that did not include me. I didn't mind that but it was hard for me to find things to do on my own in Miami in Spanish. <br><br>I told my BF that I didn't want to go back to Miami with him this year because it's a long trip and I wasn't really having much fun. He said he understood. <br><br>Fast forward to last weekend. His cousin and wife came to visit him and they went out to a nice dinner. I joined them and noticed that all the conversation was in Spanish. It was a fun night but I didn't know what was going on for most of it. I asked my BF to translate, but as he was working until 9pm, he had already drunk a couple of glasses of wine by the time he got there, and it just felt like I was being a burden. <br><br>When we got home, I asked him whether he ever felt like an outsider when he was with me and my friends. He said no, but that he speaks English fluently. I agreed. That led to him asking why I didn't make an effort to speak more Spanish when I'm with his family and friends. I have taken Spanish classes but I just don't speak it. I get by in in everyday situations, but I'm really bad at following conversations. <br><br>He said he wished I made more of an effort to fit in. He told me that he never brought me around because I didn't speak enough Spanish and he didn't want to be translating for me all night. I said that that had hurt my feelings a lot and made me feel like he was ashamed of me. He said no, that he was just protecting me. <br><br>Later that night he dropped a bomb on me. He said he wanted to retire in Latin America. I have never heard this from him before (he has mentioned that he likes to travel there on vacation and visit his parents, but nothing beyond that). He said that in order to retire in Latin America, he needed to have a Spanish speaking wife, and that if I didn't speak Spanish or if I wasn't willing to learn, he didn't see a future for us. <br><br>I was in shock. I didn't say anything. He said he was just being honest and that he thought he had mentioned this before. He didn't. He also said that hopefully I could learn to speak Spanish but he doubted I would put in the effort. I told him I didn't want to spend Christmas with him at his parent's this year after what he said. He said this was unfair, that he had just been honest and was still treating me well. I said he was being disrespectful and I didn't want to go. He said fine but that he couldn't drive me back on Dec 26th as he was driving with his cousin and the cousin's wife. <br><br>I said I would arrange my own way back if I decided to go. I haven't decided yet.