I'm a girl who went black and I regret it deeply

Hello everyone. I'm a 20 year old British half indian girl who is currently in University. I have light brown skin, green eyes and red hair, plus I'm quite petite so appearance wise I'm pretty average. I'm going to get into this as soon as possible because I don't have much time remaining on this browser session.<br><br>When I turned 18, I had never been in a relationship or anything. I then got with my first boyfriend, who was also a student who happened to be black. I met him at a party and we talked a bit and hit things off, he seemed like a great guy and I really enjoyed spending time with him. After about a month of dating he invited me to his house and I was kind of apprehensive at first but he convinced me to come over. We basically just had sex the entire time I was there and it was my first time. He had a really big dick and it was really painful and I had tears in my eyes at one point but he just told me to man up and the pain would go away eventually. I accepted this and we continued to have sex, I guess i just assumed it would get better after awhile but it didn't really. <br><br>Anyway we continued to see each other for about a year after that and had sex all the time, I never really enjoyed it and it was always sore afterwards but again I just assumed that it would get better eventually. When we broke up I started to notice that the pain wasn't just confined to when I had sex, it was bad all the time. I was walking around on campus with this annoying agony in my vagina every step I took. I was really confused and didn't know what was happening so I went to my doctor and they referred me to a specialist. <br><br>I was diagnosed with something called 'vaginal laxity' which essentially means my vagina is the size of a bucket and my pelvic floor is broken. They told me that disparate penis sizes are the primary cause and since I started with a 'larger' partner, it has permanently scarred me. I'm in constant pain whenever I walk around and I have never been able to orgasm when having sex. I haven't had a relationship since then and I can't see myself having one for the foreseeable future. Now I just kind of accept that I will never find a decent guy, especially considering how I'm fairly certain that I'm not sexually attractive. <br><br>I just want to say to any girls who are considering dating black guys that you shouldn't do it. From my experience they all have massive dicks and are all low value low effort partners with no sense of decency or regard for the feelings of their partner. I would be shocked if there's a single black man who cares about his girlfriend or wife. <br><br>TLDR: If you're a girl and you're going to have sex with a black man you will almost certainly regret it.