It is NOT a “smart investment” to be a background character in your own story.

Hello. I am a nobody and you would have never seen this post if not for the safety net of anonymity that Chambers provides me. It is thanks to this that I can tell you my story. Or rather, warn you about the path I took in life and what it has led to. <br><br>A small summary so that you don’t think I am some kind of loser: I am 30, I am a doctor. I have been a resident for about 6 years, I earn good money, own a house and have a nice car. I am not broke or one of those losers that leech off of mommy and daddy until they are 30, just to go on to live in their basement for the rest of their lives. I have worked hard to be where I am (and I am proud of that). But I also have been in a relationship for about 7 years. The reason why I say this is to preface the fact that I am so damn bored with my life. I’ve had a good career, and a long relationship. But I have no friends, I have no hobbies. I am not passionate about anything. I haven’t had a moment of true happiness in almost a decade. I don’t know how I got here. But after taking the time to reflect on it (I have been out of residency for 2 years now) I think I finally understand what has happened. <br><br>I was a nerd in highschool. I was never popular. Or even really liked. But I got really good grades. I got into a good university and eventually into med school. I was too busy to have friends. And I was too caught up in the idea that I would be a doctor to care. That dream was enough for me. Then I met my girlfriend. And it felt great to have someone. I went through med school on autopilot because It didn’t really matter what I was doing as long as I had someone to share it with. I was background character in my own story, and that was enough. <br><br>Then I started my residency. I was so damn focused on being a good doctor I didn’t have time for friends. Heck, I even stopped seeing my own family! My girlfriend was all I had, and due to the stress of it all… I think I started depending too heavily on her for emotional support. We would do everything together. We made all of the decisions together. I didn’t really know what I was doing anymore because my professional life was so demanding that I had to rely on her for everything. And I did. I was still a background character in my own story, but it didn’t matter, because she was there for me… Right? <br><br>Then our relationship started having issues. She was starting to become distant. We broke up once but I still stayed close to her and we got back together almost a year later. I was still a resident. I didn’t really have time for anything else. But I was barely seeing her anymore. She had become increasingly distant, almost cold. She rarely sought my company and we stopped doing stuff together. As we were still together, I had no need to seek anyone else’s company. I was alone but I was still a background character in my own story. I was still happy… Right? <br><br>But then I finished my residency. And suddenly I had time. And I saw what a disaster my life had become. I have no friends. I have no hobbies. I have no interest. No passion. I went back to my hobbies and realize I sucked at them. I wanted to go back to med school. At least there I was good at something. But I couldn’t. I was done. I went back to my old university to visit some of my professors (old friends) and saw how out of place I was. I ran out of there crying. I don’t fit in anywhere. I have no place in this world. I have a good job, a good career, a long relationship, a nice house, a good car and I am utterly miserable. Deep down, I know what is happening. It is not that life has been hard on me, it is that I have never actually lived it. I am a background character in my own story. I have never been passionate about anything. I have never been interested in anything. I have never been in love with life. It has never been mine. It became whatever I had to do to become a doctor. Then it became whatever I had to do to help my girlfriend. But what is left when I am done being a doctor and I don’t have a girlfriend? <br><br>Nothing. There is nothing. I have no answers. I am alone in my big house. My girlfriend doesn’t even live with me anymore. She tells me she is just focussed on her career. And I can’t even be mad at her. Because I did the same. We are both background characters in our own stories, and we are barely even in each other’s. I don’t know how to change. And I am not even sure I want to. It is too late. I have no friends, I have no hobbies, I have no passion. My career is winding down. I am old and I am alone. I am barely even a background character in my own story anymore. More like a side prop nobody cares about. There is nothing left for me in this world. I have no idea how I got here. But here I am. Barely clinging to life. I wonder how long it will be until I let go. <br><br>If you are in your 20s and are about to start your career, please. Listen to me. Don’t do what I did. Make friends. Find a hobby. Have a passion. Be in love with life, and let your career just be part of it. Don’t make it the only thing. Don’t let your profession and your job define your entire existence. Because one day it will be over and you will be left with nothing. Be passionate about life. Be passionate about yourself and what makes you special. Don’t be a background character in your own story. Because if you are, you will barely even be noticed when you are gone.