AITA for telling my girlfriend she needs to stop buying me expensive gifts from my money?

I am in a weird situation where my girlfriend keeps buying me expensive gifts that I didn't ask for with the money I gave her when she was broke and had to pay back a loan. <br><br>About 6 months ago, my girlfriend was overwhelmed because her sister had died and she had to pay off a loan for her that she was the guarantor for. I didn’t want her to be stressed about money on top of everything at a time when she should just be grieving. So I gave her the money she needed.<br><br>She told me she would pay me back when she could, but I said I didn’t want to try and rush her and that she should take the money and pay me back when she was ready. But every month she has given me back the same amount we agreed on when I first gave it to her. It’s a substantial amount for her and she has a lower income than I do, so I feel bad taking it but that’s what she wanted and it works for me.<br><br> Except whenever she gives me the money, there is always something missing. Sometimes it’s $10 and sometimes it’s $50. It’s always some random thing she says she can’t afford like steak or snacks. I never say anything because I don’t want her to feel like I’m treating her poorly or that I’m a bad boyfriend for being like that. Until the last time when she gave me the money and said she was out $50 because she bought me a $100 drone. I asked her why she did that when I told her I didn’t want her going out of pocket for me. She had a smug face and said she knows me so well and it’s my birthday soon and that’s what I’ll be getting. She left without me being able to say anything.<br><br> I thought she had just been stupid and I was going to talk to her about it. But then a few days later she was at my place and she tried to give me a gold watch and said it was my birthday present. My birthday isn’t until January 1st. <br><br>So I asked her how much the watch was and if she’s been saving up. She said it was $500 (which is expensive for her) and that she hasn’t been saving up. Then I just remembered when I read the post about the guy who was buying his girlfriend gifts and she paid him back all the receipts instead of the cash. I had a bad feeling because she’s done stuff like this before. She used to buy me clothes and makeup when we first got together because she thought I would be more attractive and I never had to pay her back or anything. I tried to share but she told me I don’t have to. I don’t like getting these kinds of gifts and I feel weird, but she always says no because she wants to be so thoughtful and she wants me to be happy. She tries so hard to be considerate of me and it’s hard to hate her when she’s always trying to make me happy. But she’s also done stuff like when Valentine’s Day came around, she was broke and she asked if I could pay for something and then I realized she spent my money to get me something for Christmas. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to be petty and I know she loves me and she just tries to be thoughtful.<br><br>So a few days later, she brought up my birthday and she said we should make it special. I told her I don’t want to do anything since my mom passed away on that day 3 years ago and I’ve just been spending it at home. She looked shocked and she apologized. I told her it’s no problem, she doesn’t owe me an apology. We were just silent and I could tell she was confused but she didn’t say anything. A few days passed and she asked me if my mom knows my birthday is my favorite holiday so she’s not upset. I was stunned. I told her my birthday is actually my least favorite day and that my mom knows that. She said she knows I love Christmas so she thought my birthday would be close, but why is my birthday my least favorite day? I tried to joke it off so we could avoid the thing but she didn’t like that. <br><br>So I had to tell her and she looked horrified. I told her it’s no big deal and it’s been a few years since she passed and I’m OK with just chilling at home and not doing anything. She started apologizing and she said she knows I love my mom and I’m probably not doing great on my birthday. She said she feels so bad and she didn’t know she was dead. I tried to tell her it’s not her fault, she can’t be expected to know and I’ve never mentioned my mom. I thought she’d just drop it but she was so shocked that I guess she decided she had to make up for it.<br><br>A week after this I came home from work and she was waiting for me with a whole spread of stuff on the table. I asked what it was for and she said it was for the holiday and she wants to celebrate with me. She had tons of food, wine, cake, candles, and even a new suit. I tried to thank her and she just told me to sit back and let her give me the night of my life. I tried to tell her it’s no big deal and it’s my fault for not telling her. I also tried to tell her all the things she got me were too expensive for her. She didn’t listen to any of it and she kept telling me over and over she’s going to give me the night of my life and treat me the best she can. I never ever say no to her because I know she’s trying her best to be perfect for me. But I tried to tell her it was too expensive so she started telling me how much everything cost. <br><br> I tried to tell her it’s too expensive and she kept saying it was worth it because she wants me to be happy and she wants to treat me. I couldn’t argue with her so I just let her do whatever she wanted. She tried to make the night so special and she did. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her it was a waste. But she also made me feel guilty for taking all that money from her and not telling her anything at all. So yesterday I told her I wanted to talk to her about something and I tried to phrase it nicely. I told her she’s been buying me a lot of gifts and I wanted to ask her to just chill out because she doesn’t need to buy me so much stuff. I also told her that I thought we agreed she needs to pay me back first because she has other things she should be prioritizing. She just started sobbing and she told me she thought I was happy with the gifts and she was trying to do something for me. I tried to say I did appreciate it and I’m sorry if I made her feel like I didn’t. <br><br>But then she just looked at me and said “do you not know how much you mean to me? Why are you doing this? No I don’t have the money for these things but I want to do something for you because I love you so much and I’m trying to give you a thoughtful gift. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I thought you could tell that I wasn’t trying to hurt you. You’re complaining because I want to give you a birthday you’ll never forget? It’s a bad day for you but I want to give you something to remember and be happy about. I’m just trying to show I love you but you’re acting like you don’t know that I care about you. You make me want to do all these thoughtful things for you because you’re the love of my life and I’m just trying to do something for you because you mean so much to me. I thought we were done and I thought we were a happy couple. Why are you ruining it?” And then she ran out sobbing and slammed the door. I was just left standing there feeling confused and hurt that she was acting like this and making me feel guilty for telling her to just relax and not go broke and buy me a lot of stuff. But I also felt bad because I made her feel like she’s not trying to be thoughtful and I made her cry.<br><br>I can’t stop thinking about what she said. I was confused that she got mad at me for telling her it’s too much and I thought she’d understand she’s being a bit too thoughtful and going overboard. But I started thinking she’s been so thoughtful and she doesn’t try to hurt me. I also don’t want to make her feel like I’m ungrateful because she’s really been trying and I know she means a lot of what she says. I just don’t want to feel forced to let her keep giving me money when I don’t want it and I don’t want her to be out of pocket for it.<br><br>AITA for ruining the relationship and telling her she needs to stop buying me gifts with my money?