My Father Disowned Me Over My Father Disowning Me and I am not okay.

I posted here a few days ago but for some reason it was removed. I do not know why so I ask that the moderators please reveal why my post was removed. In any event, I am reposting here and now because I feel a sense of responsibility and duty to inform you all about what is happening.<br><br>My dad was my best friend. He taught me to be strong during hard times, to be never afraid to ask questions, to never back down from a fight, and to be unapologetically me. When I was in high school, I came out to him as trans to which he was not okay with. (Again my mother was okay with but that is not the issue here.) I was hurt but not heartbroken. He wanted to be in my life but would not respect me as I am. I was okay with that and felt that things would get better.<br><br>Fast forward to me going to college (I am in my 2nd year) and he was proud of my academic achievements. He loved how hard I worked for my grades and the fact that I was following in his footsteps. Again, he wanted to be in my life but wanted me to go back to being my deadname. I refused because I was happy being my true self.<br><br>When I came home for the holidays, he and his wife were shocked to see my long hair and how it had grown. Their faces were both pale and flushed when they saw me. My step-mom tried to be nice but my father was furious to the point where he had a massive argument with my mother. My mom was on my side because she respected me as I am. My father was saying that I needed to grow up, be a man, and stop being a stupid little girl. My mother yelled at him to grow up and respect me. This massive fight went on for hours to the point where I culled my father’s number and my mother and step-father told me to come home. However, it was the Christmas holidays so I had nowhere to go to but my father’s house. He was so livid that he slept on the couch while I slept in my room.<br><br>The next morning he was calmer but still angry. He and his wife were both fuming. He and his wife told me that they cannot tolerate my gender anymore and want nothing to do with me. I was hurt but not heartbroken. I packed my bags and took my dog with me and left. I drove to my mother’s house in absolute silence, not crying at all, and when I got home, I broke down. I sobbed and wailed while hugging my dog. My mother and step-father comforted me and told me that they will always be there for me, my step-siblings included.<br><br>I am not okay. I am horribly upset and heartbroken that my best friend in the world disowned me. I feel like I am dying inside and that a part of me is gone. I have never felt this feeling before and I do not know how to handle it. I feel so alone and I think about my father every day, crying in silence. I am trying to be strong but it is hard when you lose the one person you never thought would leave you.<br><br>Thank you for reading. If you have any advice, please let me know. Stay strong witches.<br><br>Edit: I am blown away by the support I have gotten here. Thank you so much for being so kind to me. I really appreciate all of the helpful advice and it has really helped me through this hard time. Stay strong witches.