i miss being younger and having a big, close-knit family

i’m 32 now. i grew up in a big irish catholic family. i’m the youngest of 8. we always had Sunday dinner as a family, went to church together, were very close, etc. <br><br>my older siblings are in their mid 30s to late 40s. they’ve been married for almost 20 years. they have teenagers, have had health problems, etc. they don’t travel anymore, they don’t hang out after church, they aren’t excited to see new releases in theaters. <br><br>i watched my parents die right in front of me within months of each other when i was just turning 30. my father got really sick, my mother gave up, died a few months after my dad, and everyone went their separate ways. <br><br>the holidays used to be so fun. i’ve always been very bubbly. i miss the comfort of knowing my parents are there, and the comfort that comes knowing what to expect. <br><br>i’m glad i got to experience that. i’m glad my parents were able to see all of their children grow up. i’m glad everyone got to experience that. <br><br>it’s sad it’s over, though. it’s stressful not knowing what’s coming next. <br><br>i wish i had parents.