Brutal Reality Check

So I just broke up with my long time boyfriend who was the first person I let go all the way. Before that I was a virgin and went only up to 2nd base. Being a virgin wasn't by choice, I am 23 now and I would've definitely had sex sooner if I had the chance.<br><br>I broke up with him over a week ago after I discovered his infidelity. It was a painful process.<br><br>I thought id take a step out and started having sex with someone else to move on, but today I realize. I am a mess, I have no idea what I'm doing. My vagina is in alot of pain now and I had no idea how much damage he could've done to me during my first time.<br><br>I am heartbroken over the fact I let someone so toxic be the first person I let go all the way with.<br><br>I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I just feel like garbage, worthless, and empty.