AITA for making a “taste test” at my cousins wedding after I gave them money to pay for their catering?

So I (40m) gave my cousin (35m) $10,000 for his wedding that took place last week. I only gave them that money for the catering but they told me they’d rather use it to upgrade their packages for the venue and the photographer. They told me they already paid for their own catering and that it was “what they wanted for their special day” (they’re very much into homemade food) so I told them they could use the money for other things.<br><br>On the day of the wedding, I met up with my cousin and his wife (35f) at the venue to help set up. I noticed they were bringing in frozen meals and snacks and I found it weird but figured they were just for snacks for after the wedding or something.<br><br>Fast forward to the reception, they bring out these little sliders. I take one and eat it and it tasted awfully familiar. I asked my cousin again if this was the catering or if this was something they made on their own. He was being cagey with his answers until I asked him directly if they used the money I gave them to pay for a better venue and photographer and to make their own food instead. He told me they did, almost guilt free, and told me their “taste test” before the wedding proved that their own cooking tasted better than any catering they’d had before. I told him I wanted my money back but he told me they’d already spent most of it and couldn’t afford to pay me back. I told him I was going to take legal action and I left with my wife.<br><br>I haven’t heard from my cousin and his wife since I left but my mom told me they went and cried to her about how I wouldn’t let them have their day their way and how I’m making unreasonable demands. She told them they were in the wrong and that they should pay me back but she told me I was an asshole for trying to get my money back. I don’t think I was an asshole for expecting them to use my money how I wanted them to but I’m wondering if maybe I’m the asshole here for being so demanding and ruining their wedding.<br><br>EDIT: quick edit just to say thank you to everyone who’s been supportive and gave much appreciated advice! I really wasn’t expecting this to blow up and I still have to talk to my cousin and his wife about getting my money back. Definitely going to talk with my wife tonight about taking legal action and I’ll definitely look into contacting venues and photographers in the area to see if they were paid with my money. Definitely going to stand my ground and not let them bully me into dropping it. Will try to update as much as I can.<br><br>EDIT 2: Since I can’t reply to everything, I wanted to address a few things. I didn’t specify the amount of my contribution because I didn’t think it was necessary or anyone’s business but there were a lot of questions about it. It was enough to pay for their catering. They told me their budget for catering was $1000 for 50 people and I gave them $10,000 for catering costs. <br><br>The reason I gave them the money for catering was because they wanted to make their own food. I told them there was no way they could make enough food for their guest lists but they told me they were determined to make it work. We went back and forth about it until they told me they’d already paid for a catering service. That’s why I gave them the money. Now I’m wondering if they were ever actually planning on hiring a catering service or not but I guess I’ll never really know. <br><br>I also wasn’t clear about how they were serving the food. I think everyone assumed they brought it out themselves but it was catered. There were caterers who brought out the food they made. The whole point was to have professional caterers at the wedding, not to make it seem like they hired caterers when they didn’t.<br><br>I am going to talk to my wife tonight about taking action. She was pretty mad that they used our money for something else but she was also pretty embarrassed that I blew up at their wedding. It isn’t really like me to blow up like that so I’m hoping she’ll understand.<br><br>Lastly, I understand a lot of people are confused as to why they can’t pay me back. They told me they already spent most of my money and couldn’t afford to pay me back. I’m not really sure why they can’t or what they spent it on but I’m planning on finding out.<br><br>EDIT 3: since I can’t reply, I just wanted to add that caterers charge per person and per food item and the catering they were going to hire was almost $50,000 which is why they told me they needed $1,000 for the food. This was for 50 people and it was supposed to be a three course meal. This was supposed to be appetizers, entrees, and desserts along with beverages. It’s expensive but that’s what they wanted and that’s what I gave them money for.