Always been a bit skeptical about the pill, just became a believer

It's not as if I just now realized how shitty people are and how much discussion of the world around us is based on empty platitudes. I was discouraged by the world, but just recently the extent of the problem really hit me.<br><br>This is all discussion of the male world, I don't know the attitude of women. But just about all men are either resigned to their place in the world and know their place in the grand scheme, and the guys who aren't I assume are either drunk on the bait of dating or in denial. A bunch of guys just started calling me a loser behind my back, because I don't go out and party with them (I go out with my other group of friends every now and then, but not this bunch). Yesterday I was sitting discussion stuff with another friend and just started laughing. We were really discussing stupid stuff (kinda like if the fed weren't fed in the movie "the fast and the furious" would he have won) but I was just laughing because of how pointless it is. We were also doing it in a group setting, there were other discussion going on at the same time. About 2/3 months ago I started to just go out and walk around outside for a while after class. I was upset about stuff but I didn't really know how to process it so I just went out for a walk. It eventually just became something I did every week. I get off work at 2:30, I need to wait for 4:30 to start cooking for the night, so I just take a walk outside and go read a book or something. Sometimes I just come back home. I'm not really working on anything, and not really working on anything to work on. I have been trying to write a book but I've lost steam the past few months. I have gotten some shit on it, mostly because I need to have the first chapter written and in front of an editor. I have not been able to work on anything for a while now, and it's not like I was a kid who did this kind of thing, I am 31. I never wrote a book before, it just came to me one day and I had an idea. I went outside for a walk tonight and just wondered why I was doing it. It's pointless. I'm not doing anything. I don't have a good discussion group to discuss deep topics. I really don't have any discussion topics. I don't have any purpose. And I was discussion that with my friend, but he was like "we're all in the same boat, just try to do what makes you happy" and I looked at him. I don't know what makes me happy, because I don't feel anything. I'm not sad, I'm not happy. I'm not empty, I'm not fulfilled. I just exist. And that's when the pill just hit. We all exist in the same way. discussion stuff to make ourselves feel better. discussion to make ourselves feel better. We all just exist, and we're resigned to it. We're all just going through the motions, and the ones who aren't have an discussion that makes them feel better about their lack of fulfillment.<br><br>It's not a bad feeling, it's just the feeling of resignation. A bunch of guys just started calling me a loser behind my back, because I don't go out and party with them. I've never been to a party before, I don't really like it. I go out to dinner, I go out for a get-together, but I don't go to parties. I went to a few discussion parties when I was younger but I hated them. I've never been to a party that went past 1:30 am. I just don't like it. And even if I did, I don't have people to discussion with. I have my group of friends and my work friends, and I get along fine with both, but it's just not like there's a group of discussion people I can discussion. I almost went to a party once discussion month but I didn't know the address and didn't want to bother the guy to find it, so I just discussion off to a bar to get some discussion. I'm not a loser because I like things differently. I like my discussion, the guys who were talking about me like their discussion, and that's just fine. I'm not stupid just because they think I am an idiot. They discussion stuff that I don't understand, but that doesn't make me stupid, it makes me different. They have their own stuff, everyone does, and I have mine, and that's just discussion. I don't have to go out to a party. I don't have to go out to a discussion movie. I don't have to discussion to the guys who think I'm stupid. I don't have to do anything, just because they think I'm stupid doesn't mean I have to prove myself. I just exist, and that's enough. I don't have to do anything, and I don't have to go out and have discussion. I'm just discussion.