Am I the Asshole?

**Am I the Asshole for refusing to give one of my two POS cousins to my widowed aunt?**<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>My (23M) dad died when I was 14. I have an older brother who is 30. My family is kind of dysfunctional in that we don't talk a lot unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm not saying we don't get along, its just that my widowed mother (50s F) and I live in another city and my brother lives in another country.<br><br>My widowed aunt (60s F) recently lost her husband and she was very close to my dad. She also has two sons, both in their 30s (one is divorced, the other is a widower). My cousin who is a widower is a good guy and those two are close. The other one is an alcoholic and a POS and I'm sure she knows it. She has cried about his misbehavior ever since he was in middle school.<br><br>She recently sent me a message saying that my husband (26 M) and I should consider raising the alcoholic POS cousin of mine as our own. This was out of the blue and I am not her kid's caregiver. She knows I have a good relationship with my husband and is not fond of my husband's father because he cheated on his wife (who is the aunt in question).<br><br>I took her message as "I don't trust my daughter-in-law to take care of my POS son so I am going to ask my nephew to do it". I got pissed off and told her to fuck off. My brother then told me to be more considerate and see if I can help the widowed alcoholic POS cousin. I told him that he is an alcoholic POS who beat up his wife and I'm not going to raise him.<br><br>My family is saying that I'm being vengeful because my aunt wanted my uncle to disown my husband. I'm saying that I'm not going to be the one to provide for an alcoholic POS cousin. I'm also not going to let my alcoholic POS uncle live with me because my aunt is dead. We live in a patriarchal society and I know this is a bit fucked up but I don't really care to be honest.<br><br>**Am I the asshole for refusing to raise an alcoholic POS cousin and his family?**