My boyfriend's response about things I "should" be doing in our relationship really bothered me.

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We are very happy, and our relationship is very strong. I very much appreciate him and believe he does his best to appreciate me. The relationship is very equal and mutual and it's great.<br><br>However, I've always believed that one of the secrets to a healthy relationship is communication. I've found that there have been times when I've said things to my boyfriend that he took very badly. I've learned that I need to be very careful with my words and not say anything that might be perceived as critical. He's not generally touchy about things, but does get very defensive any time he feels attacked. I've even learned that I can't always say what I'm thinking out loud. I have to be very thoughtful before I choose to talk about something. The other day I noticed that he was running low on his favorite snack and I made a mental note to pick some up during my next shopping trip. But then I thought, what if he DOESN'T want me to buy more snacks? What if he's trying to stop eating that? If I buy more and he's trying to cut back, he'll feel like I'm undermining him and take it as criticism. So I have to be thoughtful about *everything*, and try to consider his feelings on *everything*.<br><br>I brought it up to him and he agreed, yes, I do have to be considerate of his feelings and think carefully before saying anything. And I said, "It feels like a lot of pressure to always have to be so thoughtful. Do you think about things from my perspective?" And he thought for a second and said, "No." I was a little surprised. He's always been a considerate boyfriend, always put in a lot of effort. And he's right that I do things "wrong" sometimes and hurt his feelings. But I feel like I have to be so careful about how I word things constantly. It felt like a lot of pressure and I felt a little hurt that he didn't seem to put in the same amount of effort.<br><br>He isn't a bad boyfriend or a selfish boyfriend. He's wonderful. But it felt like he didn't care about communication and that I was expected to take on the full responsibility of communication and being thoughtful. It made me feel like all the emotional labor in the relationship was on me. And that felt a bit unfair.