I’m 27 and have 6,000 followers on Instagram but have never dated anyone before. I feel hopeless. I’m destroying my life and I don’t know how to stop it

I’m 27 years old never had a girlfriend. Got 6,000 followers on instagram, hobbies, tons of friends, family hobbies, I play soccer every week. I go to the gym every day. I’m 178 and I weigh 60 kgs. People in my friend circle would call me skinny. I have a 6 figure salary. But the biggest regret I have and what I think about every day is the fact that I have never been in a relationship before. I grew up in a very strict Asian household, I was the biggest loser in high school. So when something good happens to me, something inside of me just tells me to destroy it. So I just send people back. I have met many women before, it just never leads to anything. I’m destroying my life and I don’t know how to stop it. I really don’t want to live anymore, but something inside of me is keeping me going.