I Fought Off My Rapist And I Feel Guilty Now

This is the first time I have ever spoken about this and yet I feel like I talk about it way too much. I feel like the whole world knows about what happened to me. But since it is fresh in my mind currently, I just wanted to write it out in words.<br><br>I don’t know how old I was when it happened, but I think I was 16. It happened in December of that year, and my birthday is in November. I remember it being cold, and I was definitely still in school.<br><br>This all happened sometime after my parents divorced, and I had moved in with my new stepmom and dad. They lived in a two bedroom house not too far from where I used to live with my parents. My stepmom had a daughter my age, and we became fast friends. <br><br>One night, my stepsister and I snuck out to meet up with these two guys we knew. One of them was her ex boyfriend, and the other was an old classmate of hers that had moved away and was back in town to visit. <br><br>We knew they were trouble. The guy my stepsister used to date was an asshole, and he had cheated on her with some other girl from town. But my stepsister wanted to see him again, and we both wanted to see the other guy. <br><br>We agreed to meet up at the beach, which is where I grew up. It’s a tiny little coastal town with a beach that is surrounded by sand dunes. <br><br>We met the guys there, and the guy my stepsister used to date immediately began flirting with me. I was like “Uh, hello? I am your ex’s friends. Not some random chick that you can hit on.” But my stepsister didn’t seem to care, so I let it go.<br><br>Things got weird when the guy my stepsister used to date began pressuring us to drink and smoke weed. We both said no, but he kept pushing. The other guy didn’t seem to care, but my stepsister told me later that she was in the bathroom and he asked her if she was going to let his friend have me.<br><br>We told them we were going to leave, but my stepsister wanted to stay a little longer. So we told them to go ahead and leave, but they refused.<br><br>It was cold, and we didn’t have jackets. They had jackets, so they let us have them but only if we let them share with us. My stepsister accepted first, and I followed.<br><br>They sat down in the sand, and told us to come sit with them. My stepsister went and sat with the other guy, and I went and sat with her ex. The moment I sat down, he wrapped his arms around me and started kissing me. I was disgusted. He tasted like stale tobacco and spilled beer. I pulled away and stood up, telling him I was leaving.<br><br>That was it. That was the final straw. My stepsister and I both said we didn’t want to be there anymore, so we decided to leave. We both stood up, but my stepsister was a little wobbly. I don’t think she was drunk, but I think the cold air got to her.<br><br>Her ex stood up, and so did I. But when I stood up, he pushed me back down into the sand. I fell onto my ass, and I remember sliding backwards. I turned and tried to run, but he jumped on top of me and held me down. He put his knees on either side of my hips and pinned my arms above my head. <br><br>I remember screaming at the top of my lungs, and I remember him spitting in my face. I don’t remember much after that, but somehow I got my arms free and punched him in the balls. I rolled over and pushed him off of me, and when I stood up I saw that both guys were holding my stepsister to the ground. <br><br>The beach was empty, except for one guy walking his dog on the other side. I waved at him to come over, and when he did I told him to call the police. I didn’t have a phone on me, but I’m pretty sure my stepsister did. <br><br>The guy my stepsister used to date got up and ran, and I remember him screaming “Lets go! Cops!” The other guy got up too, and when he did he grabbed me and shoved me back to the ground. <br><br>Then the guy with the dog came over and hit him in the back with his walking stick. My rapist left, and I helped my stepsister up. I took her to the guy with the dog, and told him to take care of her while I went to the parking lot to find the police. <br><br>They pulled up not long after that, and I gave them my story. They told me they couldn’t find the guys anywhere, but they would be on the lookout from them. <br><br>I never saw either of them again. I never even learned the name of the guy who attacked me. And since the police couldn’t find them, nothing ever happened. I never got any justice for what happened, and it still haunts me to this day.<br><br>But one day, my stepsister told me that she had seen him at a party. And she said that he had asked her about me. <br><br>“Tell her I said hi,” He said.<br><br>And she told him to fuck off. <br><br>I don’t know if he remembers my face, or my name. If he doesn’t, then that’s good. I don’t want him thinking about me anymore than he needs to. But if he does….then<br><br>Guy who tried to rape me on the beach one night when I was a teenager, let’s not meet again.