I'm sick of being a childfucker.

I'm gay and disabled and have a disease that I caught from my mother. I'm sick of being a pedophile, It's ruining my life. I'm sick of hating myself, I'm sick of feeling ashamed, I'm sick of feeling like a monster. I'm sick of it all. If I'm a monster, why can't I be taken out of this world? I just want to die. I deserve nothing but death.