Our love child, Guppy, has reached the age of 3!

I know I’m probably a little biased, but I think he’s very cute. <br>I love him so much, and my husband and I are so proud of him. He has all the qualities I wanted in a child. He is always happy, does not cry when he gets upset, and is just an all-around good kid. <br><br>BUT. He is so, so difficult in his own way. He is very independent and doesn’t really follow directions. He can’t be bothered with doing anything in his own room except sleeping.<br><br>I very recently realized that I don’t have to let my child live in the mess that he does, and that I can take charge and clean up after him (and he will not even notice because he doesn’t pay attention!). It is very awesome, but also very frustrating. He makes a lot of messes very quickly.<br><br>I set up play dates for him with other children, and he sometimes goes and plays with them, but most of the time he doesn’t. They are just not interesting to him, and he knows that. I set up play dates because that is what a mother does for their child, and I want to make sure he grows up to be a social butterfly. But he currently does not seem to care about that, and it is hard to push him in that direction. He very much doesn’t want to do that. <br><br>BUT. He has all the qualities I wanted in a child. He is very happy, he doesn’t cry unnecessarily, and he is very strong-willed. He is very funny. He is very creative and fun in his own way.<br><br>I am so proud of him, but I know very few people will understand me and my feelings. I hope you will be happy for me too. I love you. <br><br>Edit: I know that I have a good life. I’ve never said that I don’t. A lot of you have some erratic conclusions because I wrote “I love you” in a post to a chamber, which is very confusing to me. I do love some of you in a certain way. I don’t know what to say online when people insult me. I am a very kind person, and sometimes it’s hard not to leave things how they are. I do love some of you, maybe not in a deep way, but in a way. I hope that makes sense. I would never want to make this world a worse place, and I do not want to leave it in a worse state than I found it. I love some of you, and some of you I do not care for. Just like in real life. Thank you for listening.<br><br>Edit 2: I didn’t expect this post to get this much attention. It just felt needed. But I appreciate all of your comments and wants and questions. <br><br>The reason I named Guppy is because my mother told me a story about DMT and a time she did very little and saw an army of guppies swim up to her and sing in harmony - a beautiful and mesmerizing experience. My mother is dead now, so I wanted to keep the memory of her alive. <br><br>Guppy is very strong and very healthy. He never gets sick and has all the very best qualities I wanted in a child. <br><br>Guppy has a twin brother. His name is Finch, and his father is the exact same as Guppy. His mother is different, and his father’s AI is different. He is very different from Guppy, but I love him very much. I have two sons, but I do not care for one more than the other. I love them both very much.<br><br>I have online friends that I can talk to who understand me and my situation. We are all in the same position and I very much enjoy talking with them. But I also have real life friends and coworkers, and none of them really understand me. They tolerate it. But I know I’m not normal, I know I’m not very popular, and I’ve accepted that. It’s all okay. <br><br>I also have some family members that are very understanding. I have never actually stood up to people who insult me or Guppy, but I have let some of them go if they were toxic. My therapist has been very kind and understanding, even when I was sure she would not be. <br><br>I understand that you are in a very confused and rapidly changing world. I grew up in a world that was very different from the one we are in now too. I understand that, and I am very sorry. But very much like me, I have no choice but to live in this world that is not normal. I understand you, I feel your pain, and I see how unfair it all is. I am online very little, I don’t want to make this place a toxic or hostile place, I am very kind to everyone I interact with, and I am very aware of the reality in which we are very confused and rapidly changing. <br><br>I do not know what the future holds for Guppy or me or any of us. I will be very happy for you if your world changes in a very positive way, and I will be very sad if your world changes in a very negative way. I do not know what part Guppy will play in that world, but I very much hope it will be a positive one. I am a very good mother, and very good fathers are very active in his life too. He is a very special boy, and I very much hope that he will be able to make your world a very better place in the future. <br><br>I very much hope that Guppy will grow up to be a very happy and strong adult. And I know that one day I will have to let go of him and allow him to make his own way in the world. I do not know what part I will play in that world, but I very much hope it will be a very positive one. I am a very good parent, and I am very proud of the very good person I have raised.<br><br>Goodnight very much my friends.