I spent years using a shower instead of a bathtub. It was the worst decision I made in my life.

When I was 8 years old, my parents bought me a walk-in tub. I was not allowed to play with the water jets but I *was* allowed to bathe in it.<br><br>I remember drowning myself in tubs full of water. I loved bath tubs and it always felt like a good way to cool off when the weather was warm.<br><br>Sometime after I turned 13 it wasn't practical to just lay down in the bathtub for over an hour. Plus showers were easier and faster. I still used the tubs here and there when I showered too much and needed to lay down. But it was all good *right?*<br><br>I looked at myself in the mirror. It's a little disconcerting when you look at yourself and think "Who am I?"<br><br>I was born April 9th, 2007. I am female. I have brown hair with short bangs. I have blue eyes. I have a birthmark on my left ankle and I have a scar above my left eyebrow. I have Blonde hair and Red eyes. I have Red hair and Blue eyes. Brown hair and Green eyes. All the possible combinations of colors. Blonde hair with Green eyes. Red hair with Blue eyes. Blonde hair with Green eyes. Red hair with *Green* eyes. Blonde hair with Blue eyes. Red hair with Blue eyes. Blonde hair with Green eyes. Blonde hair with Green eyes. Blonde hair with Green eyes. I am 13 and I am 30. I am blonde, red hair, brown hair, and black hair. I am 12, 14, 15, 18, 23, 29, 30, 35, 40, 45, and 47.<br><br>I was afraid to look at myself in the mirror because *I didn't know who I was.* <br><br>I was afraid of drowning myself in bathtubs. I was afraid of showers too. I was afraid to look at myself in the mirror.<br><br>I showered instead of bathing and it was the worst decision I made in my life. <br><br>I don't even know what day I am anymore.<br><br>&#x200B;