I do overtime every day

You’d think being successful = being happy. You’d think working your ass off = being happy. Unfortunately, that’s not true. I’m this close to burning out. I often fantasize about not waking up. I don’t like the idea of death but I often fantasize about not waking up. I’m burnt out.<br><br>I’m obsessed with my work. I do overtime. I’m so tired that I drink a liter of coffee everyday. I don’t exercise anymore. But I love this feeling. I love this feeling of burnout.<br><br>I don’t like who I am. I don’t like my ugly face and my short stature. I don’t like my life. I don’t like my sadness and my emotional pain. I don’t like my loneliness. I love this feeling of burnout. It’s an easy escape for me. I can forget about my ugly appearance and my loneliness. I can forget about my unhappiness.<br><br>I’m obsessed with my work because it’s my only escape from this cold harsh reality. I’m burnt out but at least I don’t think about my loneliness. I’m burnt out but at least I’m not empty and sad inside.<br><br>If I didn’t do overtime, do you know what I do when I come home? I watch porn and masturbate. I masturbate because I’m so lonely. I masturbate because I’m desperate for a release. I masturbate because I hate my loneliness and my ugly appearance. But I love this feeling of burnout. I love working my ass off. I love this feeling of exhaustion. It’s much better than masturbating. I’d rather die than masturbate out of sadness.