AITA for making fun of my mentally ill cousin during a wedding?

I was at a family wedding recently and my grandparents were being their usual assholes to me. <br><br>I was joking with my cousins (my date was family friend, she can take a joke) and said "yeah near killed myself last year but my grandparents sure handled it well. They texted me saying 'alright well next time just do it'." And I said jokingly "yeah well I guess I'll just die for them then and give them what they want." My one cousin was near in tears and I thought nothing of it. <br><br>Well at the reception when I got up to do my speech my cousin whispered "that was fucked up what you said to your grandparents. You handling your disorder is enough." And I'm like what is she talking about? She reminds me of my earlier joke. I said "it was a joke! Don't worry about it." <br><br>Well I finish the speech and my aunt pulls me aside to ask if I was doing ok. I said yeah I was doing alright. She was like "because previously you had said something about killing yourself to my daughter earlier and I thought maybe it was true." I'm like "what? No." <br><br>Well I learn today from my dad that my aunt still thinks I'm a monster. She's saying that I'm messed up and mentally ill because I made that joke. She says that I'm messed up and cruel for doing it. <br><br>I think it's bullshit and I'm just sorry if I hurt my cousins feelings who overheard. I don't think I'm an asshole but I do think it was a poor choice of joke.