My brother in-law is Chinese and the way he treated restaurant workers was shocking.

My (32M) brother in-law (32M) is Chinese, from Shanghai. He visits the US once a year for a couple of weeks. <br><br>Long story short, during the last visit he went to a couple of restaurants with my wife, our kids and me. He treated the staff terribly and I'm still thinking about it. The Chinese attitude towards service industry is very cold and transactional. <br><br>In the US my brother in-law and I always split the bill 50/50. This is China's cultural norm (AA) "you get what you pay for". In the US it's customary to tip the server 15-20% of the bill. Chinese people don't usually tip when they visit the US, and they don't understand why they need to. Chinese servers are paid a normal hourly wage so tipping is not necessary.<br><br>During our meal my brother in-law ordered the wrong dish and wanted to switch it for the correct one. He didn't say "excuse me" or "sorry to bother you", he just walked to the server and loudly said "this is wrong!" while waving the dish in her face. I was mortified. The server took the dish and said "sorry". I apologized to her and she said "it's ok".<br><br>Later when we were done with our meal, the server asked us if we wanted desert. My brother in-law loudly said "what? No! Just bring us the check!". Again, no "excuse me", no "please", no "sorry to bother you". I apologized profusely to the server and she just smiled and shook her head. I'm Chinese American and it's embarrassing to see one of my own treat people like that.<br><br>My brother in-law's behavior was completely normal in China where servers are trained to accommodate customer's demands without asking questions, because the customer is always right. In the US, server culture is different, they're normally friendlier and more casual. They make "small talk" and try to get to know you a little bit. To them, it's part of "providing good service", "being friendly" and "getting a good tip". That type of service is unheard of in China.<br><br>Many Chinese people visit the US for vacation or school and they might not be aware that their behavior could be seen as rude. So please be patient with them :) If you're Chinese, please be aware of your behavior because those servers don't make much and they're human too. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit: wow didn't expect so many responses. To clarify a couple of things:<br><br>1. "server" in the US is very different from a "server" in China. In the US they're mostly college kids making minimum wage + tip which can be $20-$50/hour. In China they're mostly uneducated peasants serving tables because they can't do any other job, making about $3.5/hour and relying on tips.<br><br>2. I'm Chinese but born and raised in the US. I've never lived in China but visited a few times. So this is my Chinese take on American culture vs Chinese culture.<br><br>3. the USDA estimates that 40% of produced food is wasted in the US. So if a customer doesn't like their dish, a lot of people don't care if they send it back. The Chinese culture emphasizes thriftiness so sending a dish back is unheard of.<br><br>4. I've traveled to many Asian countries and it's pretty common that service industry workers try to accommodate customer's demands without complaint.<br><br>5. no, tipping is not the norm in China. Yes there might be some wealthy cities where people tips. But it's not as prevalent as in the US.<br><br>6. I don't think Asian people are rude. I was simply comparing American culture to Chinese culture. Of course there are many rude Americans out there.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit 2: the amount of comments from people who assume they know more about Chinese culture than I do is staggering. Yes, people in China can be rude but the incidents that I personally witnessed are happening EVERY SINGLE TIME my brother in-law visits the US. I've seen him open a physical door for himself instead of waiting for someone to open it for him. I've seen him leave without finishing a meal because the food didn't taste right. I've seen him order food to-go from a physical restaurant when the restaurant doesn't provide to-go service, and then get angry because he has to eat in the restaurant. All these behaviors are perfectly normal in China but would be seen as rude in the US.