My husband admitted he has been cheating on me with his cousin for 2 years now

He told me a week ago that he’s been cheating on me for almost 2 years. I asked who it was and he said he can’t tell me. I told him I’m leaving and going to stay with my mother for a few days. He didn’t want me to leave and told me it was his cousin, his first and only cousin. I didn’t and still don’t believe that this cousin of his came out of nowhere and caused him to cheat on me. He’s the one that made the choice to cheat and he still keeps blaming her. <br><br>I’ve been with my husband since we were teenagers, we’re now in our mid 30’s, we have 3 kids together, a boy and 2 girls. The youngest is 9 years old. My husband has been perfect for most of our relationship and I would have never expected him to do something like this. I’m lost and confused and i don’t know what I’m going to do. We have a house together, a joint bank account, I don’t have a job but I do have some savings and a few thousand dollars in my name but it’s not a lot and I really don’t want to take that route. He told me he loves me and wants to stay together but I don’t know if I can ever trust him again and I’m just so hurt. I am currently at my mothers and she suggests I get a divorce but I really don’t want to.<br><br>My husband had been doing everything to show me he loves me and wants to stay together and hasn’t let me out of his sight when I’ve been at home. But he still hasn’t admitted it was his choice and his fault. I’ve threatened to leave him and he is very desperate to stop me, he even offered to let me go through his phone and computer, but I’m still unsure and I don’t know what I’m going to do.