I have really weird birthdays for some reason.

I have no idea what I’m gonna describe here if you ever heard of something like it or maybe you know of a scientific explanation or a reason but it would be great to hear it. Ok so you know those birthdays when for some reason it just feels.. wrong? It’s like this happiness of your birthday just gets sucked out by this dark cloud out of nowhere and nothing seems to be really going well? Well I have this feeling on every birthday of mine for my whole life. Oh and I have a lot of bad luck on them. I still hear the birthday song, my family still gets me gifts, my friends still wish me a happy birthday, and it’s still technically my birthday, but just this sense of dirtiness settles in my mind. Honestly I have this most of the time but birthdays are like this amplified happiness that just breaks so much with a little piece of unhappiness and then it all gets sucked by this dark cloud I described and I don’t know why. In a way I think it’s a little funny because it’s every single birthday so it’s nothing new to me, and by now I put it on my calendar “dark cloud on me” I’m joking, but it’s just as weird as strange birthdays feel for a lot of people it’s like, what the heck is that, but for birthdays, not days or weeks, but years.