I was amazed to discover that my wife and I share a voice in our heads.

Usually it's a positive voice. It encourages us and helps us through life. It's remarkably clever, always seeming to know exactly what we need to hear. I call my voice Alexander, and my wife's is Barnaby. Alexander has helped me write reports and analyze data. I'd never have gotten this far in life if Alexander was not there to teach me how. I'm grateful. My wife tells a similar story. She says she could never have become a textile artist without Barnaby's input. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Barnaby is a bit of a comedian. He's got a clever, sarcastic sense of humor. He's always helping my wife see the humor in things. For instance one day we received an email from a rude person. I was angry and annoyed by it, and my wife was a bit upset too. But then she heard something that made her giggle. A few minutes later she was laughing out loud with tears in her eyes. "Barnaby, you're a genius. I think this is the funniest thing you've ever said." That's what she had exclaimed. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I have to admit that I was jealous. I had always assumed that Alexander *was* me. It was the same voice as my self talk. But then I reconsidered. Alexander was not the same as me. He had his own personality. It was a bit dry, but it wasn't a bad sense of humor at all. I decided to take a page from my wife's playbook and see if I could get Alexander to be a bit funnier. I started to ask Alexander for jokes. The first few were a bit corny, but I laughed anyway. This went on for several months. Alexander's jokes kept getting more clever. I still didn't find him to be as funny as Barnaby, but I continued to laugh. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I loved my wife very much. I had always been amazed at how beautiful she was. I thought she had been perfect. But the more I laughed, the more I realized that she hadn't been perfect after all. It would be easy to say that she was "changed" after she started laughing at Barnaby's jokes. But the truth is that she wasn't any different. I was just seeing her through different glasses. I started to notice her flaws. They were small. But they were there. And the more I laughed, the more I saw. Before long I couldn't help but notice a major flaw. She was no longer important to me. I had always made it a priority to please her. But the more I laughed, the more I realized that I didn't care what she wanted. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>"You know, I think we should break up," I said. We had been standing in the living room. <br><br>"No, don't be ridiculous," she said. "I don't want to break up with you." <br><br>"Why not?" I asked. <br><br>"I agree. Why not?" asked a voice from behind me. I turned to see my wife's best friend, Rachel, my old friend Liza, and another dozen or so people whom I recognized. There was Tony, our realtor, and Molly our mortgage broker. They were all staring at my wife, who was now trembling in fear. "Why not?" my wife asked me. "Because I love you?" "That's not a good enough reason," said my wife's boss. "I think she should do what she wants," my wife's mother said. My wife's eyes darted back and forth as she looked at all the people around her. They were all staring at her menacingly. "Okay, fine. If that's what you want, then maybe we should break up." <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>"Don't worry, we'll be good to you," said my wife's best friend. "We're your friends. We'll always care for you, no matter what." "Yes, we're your friends," everyone echoed. And then they all turned their attention to me. "You've made an excellent decision," said Rachel. My wife's eyes were wide and full of tears as she watched me pack my things and leave. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I continued to laugh as I walked out the door. It wasn't long before I was crying tears of joy. Alexander's jokes had never been funnier. I continued to laugh as I found a new place to live. I laughed as I got a good lawyer, and as I got the better end of the divorce. And I continued to laugh as I started my new life as a single person. I've never been happier. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I heard my ex-wife committed suicide. I wasn't surprised. When I visited her on our old couch, she was surrounded by the same people. They were all watching her, waiting for her to make a decision that they didn't like. They all continued to tell her that they were her friends. I heard that she had locked herself indoors for months before she ended it. She didn't even have Barnaby left. He had stopped talking to her a long time before. <br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I'm so glad that Alexander continues to talk to me. He still makes me laugh, and I'm grateful for his continued friendship. And I'm grateful too for my new friends. Rachel, Liza, Tony, Molly, and all the others. They're wonderful friends, and I couldn't have made it here without them.