AITA for telling my wife to either take my money or she can be responsible for all the chores and child care in the house?

I've been with my wife "Shannon" for 10 years, we have two kids. I was working a regular office job, while she stayed home with the kids. We were having some financial difficulties because my job didn't pay much and I was getting in debt.<br><br>Then I got a massive promotion and a huge pay increase at the same time our son was starting kindergarten and our baby was turning 1yo. Shannon told me she wanted to stay home with the kids because she didn't want to send the baby to daycare and she said it would also save us money on child care. I agreed to it.<br><br>However, she was starting to use her free time to go to the spa, to the gym, to yoga classes and to have coffee with her friends all the time. I was feeling overworked and stressed out because even after working a long day I still had to play the role of "daddy" in the house, because she was never around for the kids. She was also barely doing any of the housework and chores.<br><br>So I sat her down and explained how I was feeling. I told her we needed to find a way to make it more balanced and more fair for the both of us. She suggested I hire someone to clean the house once or twice a week and that would take a big load off me. But that wasn't really the problem. The problem was her taking the "check" but not doing any of the "check's" work. I told her that and she got offended. I told her she has two options, either she gets a job and hires someone to take care of the kids, or she can be a SAHM but stop bitching about my money or how I spend it. She told me I was unreasonable and I didn't want my family to be happy. I told her she was being paid a good salary to be a mom and she had the freedom to be home with the kids and spend the day however she wanted.<br><br>She told me that I was making her feel like I was buying her and that I was being stupid for expecting something in return for paying her a salary. I told her I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week to give her a salary, help pay the bills, the mortgage, the kids' needs, etc. What does she do all day? She has plenty of time to do all the housework, the chores, take care of the kids and still have plenty of time to go to the spa, or to the gym or to have coffee with her friends. Unless she thinks that I should work 12 hours a day and she can still go out and have fun all day while I'm the one who has to be home at 5:30pm to do all the housework, the chores, cook, bathe the kids, etc.<br><br>She thinks I was being an asshole for making her feel bad and for not letting her have her fun.