I'm not supposed to be alive according to feminism

My mom was ****ed at me when she got pregnant with me, she was going into her second year at college and having a brat would have screwed up her future. She wanted to abort me, but my grandmother convinced her not to do it. But the whole time my mom was pregnant with me, she locked herself in her room and cried, she was so ****ed at the fact she had to have me. When I was born, she named me Alice, after a character in a play who killed herself and left a letter saying "I was born so my mother wouldn't have to become a prostitute". Yeah. <br><br>Then after I was born, she still resented me, she somehow thought I was the reason she graduated w/ a degree in English instead of Journalism, which is what she wanted. She used to dump me on my grandparents a lot when I was a kid and would tell me that she locked herself in her room and cried because she was so ****ed at me whenever I was born ****ing up her college plans. She used to tell me that when she was pregnant with me, she smoked and drank to try and kill me. <br><br>I'm supposed to be dead. According to feminism, I shouldn't even be alive. But I am. I'm alive, and she's still ****ed at me. I'm leaving the house as soon as possible.