AITA for saying that my husband getting a vasectomy is a nonnegotiable for me?

I have 3 kids/step-kids and I was done with having babies after our first was born. I was 26-27 years old. I got a tubal ligation when I was 33-34 years old and take birth control on top of it, just to eliminate any chance I would get pregnant. The idea of being pregnant makes me very anxious. <br><br>My husband and I were married 8 years ago and I made my wishes known from the very beginning. <br><br>My husband is who wanted to keep having kids. We met when he was 29 and he was about 48 now. He was adamant that he wanted more kids. I made sure he understood that I was completely, 100% done with babies, and he was okay with it. We know that if I was to get pregnant, I wouldnt keep it. I understand that it is not always 100%, but I would not get an abortion. <br><br>The reason for my concern was when we were visiting our son in Texas, my husband and I had plans to go to the zoo. We went to the very nice and fancy hotel we were staying at and asked for a list of places for food that were close. <br><br>We waited for about 10 min for the concierge to write out a list of places for us. Then, he showed us the map to show us where to go. The man was extremely nice and his name was Don. Then he asked if I had kids, because I was in my late 30's and I looked very young. <br><br>I thought the question about my kids was weird, but I tried to play it cool and tried to deflect the question. I just wanted our map back so that we could leave. He was still being nice, but I thought it was strange. <br><br>I was very thankful for Don's help, and was grateful he took the time he did. He knew we were visiting from out of town, so it was nice that he was willing to spend a few minutes getting us ready to go. It was obvious he really cared about his job and he did it very well, but I was just ready to go. He went about 5-10 mins longer than I was comfortable with. <br><br>My husband and I were really surprised that he asked if we had kids. It's not something you really ask about. It's not something you really think about either until your getting ready to have kids. It's almost like he's asking if we had sex yet, but not outright. But I think it is a little more personal than asking us if we are sexually active. <br><br>My husband and I were really surprised by the question. It was kind of odd, but I chalked it up to the concierge being an older guy and he was set in his ways. He was about 55ish and you can hear him talk like he is from Texas. He was super nice, so I was willing to let it go. <br><br>I brought it up to my husband after we got in the car and left to go to the zoo. He was surprised by it as well. He said he thinks it's a Texas thing, because he did it too when he was younger. He was about 45 years old then. <br><br>He went on to explain that it was a way you could size someone up. He said that if he was 30ish, and he didn't have kids, he wasn't good marrying material. He wasn't ready to settle down or something. <br><br>I tried to play it off, but I was weirded out by the question. I didn't want to think that I was too sensitive. I was glad my husband understood that I was a little uncomfortable. <br><br>I've always liked kids, and I've always liked babies. But I didn't love either. My husband grew up in a big family, and he always wanted multiple kids. He was one who always wanted to be in a big family. This was before we met 8 years ago. <br><br>He was more focused on his business first and he always wanted to have his own business before he had kids. He wanted a solid foundation for his family and he wanted to be solid before committing to his family. <br><br>So when we met, he was 30ish and I was 27/28 years old. He was ready to settle down with a family and I was not. I didn't want kids, and if I did, it would only be one or two. <br><br>8 years ago, I was 100% sure I was done with having kids. I was done with being a mom to little kids. <br><br>So even though I didn't love kids or babies, being a mom was enough. But I don't want another kid or another baby. <br><br>My husband always knew that I was not interested in having babies. I was actually more focused on my career than he was at the time. He also knew that he was kinda taking a chance when he was 45 and I was 26. <br><br>He was very mature for his age and I was very mature for my age, so it worked out. I was set in my career, and he knew that I was happy without kids. He knew I didn't want to be a mom to babies. <br><br>When we met, I didn't want to be a mom to babies. I was happy with my career and I wanted it to stay that way. My husband was okay with that. He had already had kids and they were already in school. <br><br>So even though I didn't love kids or babies, I was happy being a mom to big kids. I was happy with my career, and I didn't want to risk that. I didn't want to be a mom to a baby. <br><br>My husband and I have been together for 8 years. I have been sure that I didn't want kids for 8 years. I don't want to be a mom to babies. He knew that I didn't want kids when we met. <br><br>I don't know if you can tell by now, but I take this very seriously. I made sure before my husband and I even started dating that he understood I didn't want more kids. And that I was permanent. I didn't want to get pregnant by accident and then I would have a baby I didn't want. <br><br>I don't feel that it's fair for a baby to have a mom who doesn't want to be a mother. I feel that I'm letting the baby down if I'm not willing to give them the best life possible. I don't want to have a baby I don't want. <br><br>My husband and I have been married for 8 years and he's been wanting more kids the entire time. I don't know why he didn't ask for this before we got married. I don't know why he didn't ask me about having more kids before we were married. <br><br>I don't want to have a baby I don't want. I don't want to have a baby if I'm not willing to give them the best life possible. I don't want to have a baby if I'm not willing to commit to being the best mom I can be. <br><br>I don't know why my husband didn't ask before we were married. I don't know why he didn't ask me before we were married. I don't know why he didn't ask me if I wanted more kids. <br><br>But I do know that I don't want to have a baby. My husband brought this up again and tried to have a conversation with me about it. Again. <br><br>I didn't say much. I just said that he needs to get a vasectomy. That I will get permanent birth control to make sure that getting pregnant isn't even an option. I said I would be perfectly fine with him having more kids, just take the necessary steps to make sure I'm not the one having the baby. <br><br>He said I was being dramatic and I got mad. He said I should be willing to have another baby, because we are great parents. I told him he was crazy. <br><br>I'm just wondering if I'm wrong for not wanting another baby. I'm 30ish, he is 45ish. I tried to have this conversation multiple times, but he always gets angry with me. <br><br>AITA for saying that it's a nonnegotiable for me to not want to have a baby? Should I be willing to have a baby? Or does this go against my wishes?