Most people are over-estimating the importance of "having fun" in life.

My dad grew up in the early 1900s in England. His mother was a widow with 11 children who was forced to raise them herself. My dad was third youngest, so he was tasked with going out at the age of 9 and getting work to support his mother and siblings.<br><br>He had no choice in the matter. His mother sat him down for a serious conversation with him one day and told him she didn't know how much longer she could take care of him without any extra income.<br><br>My dad spent five years working for a local grocer, mostly sweeping the floors, restocking the shelves, etc. Eventually he went to work for a local ship builder. He went in as an apprentice ship welder. He worked there for 20 years because he could pay to feed and house himself and his mother with the money he made.<br><br>He met my mother at 30 years old, got married at 32, and had me at 35. He was only 40 years old at this time, but he viewed himself as an "old" man because his entire life up to that point had been about working and taking care of his mother and siblings. He had never gotten to go to school. He was taught basic reading and writing skills by one of his sisters, but he never had a formal education.<br><br>He was a hard working man, but his life had never been about "having fun". He would go fishing on the weekend, because it was a way for him to get food. He would spend hours in the garden, because it was a way for him to grow food. His life was about working, taking care of himself and his family, and surviving. He didn't have much of a childhood because he was forced to grow up so young, and he didn't have time to play games or have a social life because he was always working.<br><br>Now he's in his late 80s and nearing the end of his life. He doesn't have a whole lot to show for it. He's got a tiny pension from his time at the docks, he gets a bit of money from the government because he's elderly, and he has a small house that he inherited from one of his sisters. But overall his life has been one of hard work and survival.<br><br>The last time I visited him he said something to me that I'll never forget. He said, "I feel like I've gotten to a point where I'm ready to die because there's nothing left to live for. I've got my garden, I've got my grandkids, I've got my friends from the pub, and I've got my wife. I'm comfortable, I'm at peace, and I'm ready to go."<br><br>I know a lot of people aren't going to agree with this, and I'm not saying that my father's life has been perfect. But from the outside, it appears like he's lived a very happy life despite the fact that he had no childhood, he had to grow up too young, he never got to go to school, and he never got to have "fun" in the ways that most people have.<br><br>My mom grew up in a vastly different environment. She was born in 1933 in America to a family that was middle-class. She got to go to school, get a degree, go to college, get a good job, everything. Her childhood was happy and idyllic, and she loves to talk about the fun she had. But my mom is also in her late 80s and she doesn't have anything to show for her life. She was a working mom. She had two kids, but she never got to see us because she was always at work. She has a small house that she inherited from her parents, and a small pension from her job, but overall her life has been very different from my father's.<br><br>My mom is not happy at all. She's very uncomfortable at home. She doesn't have a lot of friends, and in general she's ready to die. But unlike my dad, she doesn't feel at peace. She feels very anxious, she doesn't know what will happen to her house when she dies, she doesn't know if she'll run out of money, etc. But she also doesn't know what she wants. She's always complaining, she's always calling me up and asking me what she should do with her life, she's always trying to find ways to make herself more comfortable, and it's just a lot.<br><br>I think this is because my mother has been taught to believe that life is about "having fun", while my father was taught to believe that life is about working. My father worked his entire life to make sure he had a roof over his head, food on the table, and a happy wife and kids. My mother worked her entire life to make sure she had money for retirement, a nice house, nice cars, nice vacations, etc.<br><br>My father's life has been very fulfilling despite the fact that he didn't get to have much "fun", while my mother's life has been very fulfilling despite the fact that she didn't get to work very much.<br><br>For me personally, I try to live in the middle of that spectrum. I believe that life should be about two things: having fun, and working.