(Holiday special) I’ll never forget the guy I let go at Walmart

When I worked there, they taught us to categorize shoplifters. We were taught to be most suspicious of jobless BM on those bullshit hover glasses scooters<br><br>Anyways. One day a single Black mom comes in the store. Right behind her is her Black son. He’s maybe 8 I think. He’s got Down syndrome. And he’s got a tablet. He’s watching a cartoon on YouTube. She’s got a cart. And she’s got clothes for him, and a pack of Huggies.<br><br>She shits for 15 minutes. And eventually, the loss prevention people tell me there’s a shoplifter. I come out, and she’s putting her kid in the car. She’s got a Target bag in her hand. I go through the drill. Sir/Madam I need to speak with you for a moment.<br><br>I ask for her cart, and she tells me it’s in the car. I ask her to please get it. And then she tells me she doesn’t feel like walking all the way home to get it. I’m like, well, that’s not my problem ma’am. And she’s like, “Fine.”<br><br>So she calls the kid over, and tells him to get the cart. He walks over to the cart with the Target bag in it. And he walks it over to me. I use my wand on him, and his tablet sets off the alarm. Then I call my CSM over.<br><br>She comes over, and I tell her what happened. And I tell her the kid has a tablet, and I had to wand him, and it set off the alarm. And she’s like, it’s fine. And I’m like, I know. But then she’s like, “Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna get the police involved. And I’m gonna tell them your son is the shoplifter. And I’m gonna tell them he’s got Down syndrome. And I’m gonna tell them he’s too stupid to talk back to them. And then we’re gonna have him arrested.”<br><br>I was like, “What? No. You can’t do that.” But she’s like, “Watch me.”<br><br>She’s a bitch. She’s got a fat neck. And she’s got a smug nerve. She’s like a Karen or something. Anyways, I get on the radio and call my LP people again. And I tell them what my CSM said. And they’re like, “That’s not what we’re gonna do.”<br><br>Anyways. The LP people show up, and they’re like, “We have a shoplifter we need to detain.” And my CSM is like, “Can I go help them?” And I’m like, “No. You’re not going anywhere.” So she has a fucking fit. And then she storms off. Like a child.<br><br>So the LP people go talk to the mom. And she’s like, “I didn’t steal anything.” And they’re like, “Short answer, please. Why is your son hiding a Target bag?”<br><br>And then she just loses it. And she’s like, “This Target bag is full of dirty diapers, you motherfucker.”<br><br>And then the LP people are like, “Excuse me?” And she’s like, “I don’t know what kind of fucked up psychological bullshit you’re trying to pull. But this bag is full of my son’s dirty diapers. You gotta be some kind of fucking sicko to plant a fucking Target bag full of my baby’s shit in his cart.”<br><br>And then the LP people are like, “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry.” And she’s like, “You better be motherfucker. You better be fucking sorry.” And then she’s like, “What the fuck is this? Is this your bullshit game? Do you get off on this? Are you that fucking bored?”<br><br>And then the LP people are like, “We’re sorry. This was a bullshit mistake. Please accept our apologies.”<br><br>And then she’s like, “Fuck your apologies. I’m calling your fucking manager.” So she calls my CSM over again. But I tell the LP people to go get my ASM instead. And they’re like, “Why?” And I’m like, “Because ASMs are fucking cool. And CSMs are fucking assholes.”<br><br>So then my ASM shows up. And he’s like, “So let me get this straight. You were trying to return some diapers. But you had already thrown away your receipt.”<br><br>And she’s like, “Yes. That’s correct.”<br><br>And he’s like, “So then you hid the dirty diapers in a Target bag. And you hid the Target bag in your son’s cart.”<br><br>And she’s like, “Yes. That’s correct.”<br><br>And he’s like, “And you tried to return the clean diapers but not the dirty diapers.”<br><br>And she’s like, “Yes. That’s correct.”<br><br>And he’s like, “And you were trying to return the clean diapers for store credit. Not for a cash refund.”<br><br>And she’s like, “Yes. That’s correct.”<br><br>So then my ASM tells her she can go. And she’s like, “That’s it?”<br><br>And he’s like, “Yes. That’s it.”<br><br>And then she asks him who the bitch was who tried to have her son arrested. And he’s like, “Oh. That was just our CSM. Don’t worry about it.”<br><br>So then my ASM calls me over. And he’s like, “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing. But if you ever pull some bullshit like that again, I’ll have you fucking fired.”