My girlfriend asked me to ruin her with my “big” penis. I’m lost on what she wants me to do

I have to put “big” in quotation marks because I’m definitely on the smaller side at 5.5 inches. I’m pretty self conscious about it. I have a girlfriend who has helped me over come that a lot and she has never made a comment about my size so besides the mental illness it comes with no one has ever said anything negative about it. <br><br>My current girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We met at work and she was one of the first women to make me feel whole. <br><br>She was married before and has asked me questions about if I’d be ok with certain sexual kinks etc. I had no problem with it and we took things slow. I’m not sexually experienced but she wasn’t expecting that since she was married before. <br><br>Recently she’s been bringing up certain things like choking and slaps/punches etc. I don’t mind any of it but I can tell she’s hesitant about asking me. <br><br>Yesterday we were having sex and she just blurted out “ruin me with your big dick, destroy me.” <br><br>I was taken aback. We’ve explored her wanting to be choked and slapped and she likes it. But when she said that I just had no clue what she meant. She’s asked me to go harder which I did and I thought she’d be satisfied with that. But she kept asking me to “ruin her.” She asked me to grab my condom and do it harder. I did and she still wasn’t satisfied. <br><br>We stopped and had a conversation. She said she wanted to be hurt by me during sex and I said I understood that. But when she said ruin me, what did she mean? I don’t get it and I’m so confused. <br><br>She said she meant what she said. She wanted to be ruined. I told her that I was confused on what she was asking specifically and that I would never intentionally hurt her. I don’t want to hurt her. But I also don’t want to deny her what she wants. I’m hoping Chambers can help me out here.<br><br>What does she mean by ruin me with my “big” dick? She knows I’m not big and she’s never said anything about it. <br><br>I’m so confused I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt her but I also don’t want to deny her what she wants. We had a small fight about it. She said I wasn’t doing things right and that I wasn’t listening to her wants. I was frustrated and said she wasn’t making sense to me. <br><br>I don’t know what to do. She isn’t making sense to me. Chambers please help.