Thank you, anti-theft system.

So I went into a store today, and I had a very specific agenda. I was going to buy some drugs. However, as I walking towards the drugs, I noticed all these little red dots on the bottles. Boy, I thought, wouldn't it be nice if those little red dots weren't there? I can assure you that I had no intention of stealing. I was just going to buy some drugs. It was totally legal, of course. However, as I stood there, I noticed the little red dots. Then something strange happened. I heard a voice. The voice was very soft, at first. It said something like this: "Hey, wouldn't it be nice to have some free drugs? Why pay for them, when you can just take them?" I thought to myself, "Yes, that would be very nice." But, then I thought about the security cameras. "Oh no!" I thought. "What if they catch me? I could go to jail." So I stood there, frozen in indecision. But, then I heard the voice again. It said something like this: "The cameras aren't a problem. Just disable the alarm, and you'll be fine. Besides, the drugs are way too expensive. You can't afford to buy them." Again, I thought to myself, "That makes sense." So I looked around, to make sure no one was watching. The coast was clear, so I reached up and twisted the bottles. The little red dots came off very easily. I couldn't believe it. Not only were the drugs free, but they didn't even have alarms on them. Ha! I thought. Fuck you, store. Fuck your cameras and fuck your alarms. But, thank you for the free drugs. Next time, I'll be sure to bring my own bag.<br><br>Edit: Thanks for the awards. I'm glad you're enjoying my shoplifting stories. If you want more, I have hundreds of them. Just let me know what you're looking for. I can give you stories about shoplifting, panhandling, and all kinds of other degenerate behavior.