I'm in a secret relationship with my half brother and we have a baby

(I'll try to be as specific is possible without being too specific)<br><br>I used to feel so ashamed and was terrified people would find out. I was certain that I would be judged and rejected if I opened up to anyone. But with the recent support for incestuous couples here and the fact that we've finally overcome our hurdles, I feel confident enough to talk about it. <br><br>I met my brother when I was 16. We share the same mum. I was born bright red headed in a family of dark hair and blue/green eyes. While is was obvious something wasn't right with me, we never really discussed my paternity or my brother's dad. I didn't even know whether they were together when I was born or not. I was just told I was his half sister. I always felt like something was missing. I didn't know much about my dad and the family didn't want to talk about it, and I never felt too comfortable asking about it because I felt like I was being intrusive into my brother's family. So I just let it go.<br><br>I didn't meet my half brother until he was 20. He's my senior by 4 years and I was the youngest in the family by 12 years. I always wondered why he didn't want to meet me but he was respectful and he'd message me and check on me. I remember feeling so excited growing up, seeing his photos and just feeling like I had my own big brother. He would message me and ask me about school and how I was feeling. he'd buy me clothes and he was so kind to me. I loved him just like any sibling and I was growing more and more fond of him each time I talked to him. <br><br>When I turned 16 I spent the summer at his apartment in the city. He'd spend a lot of time with me, showing me around, teaching me how to swim and painting with me. So many things. I was infatuated by him by the end of the summer but still didn't think it was wrong because it didn't even cross my mind that we were related. I started thinking about him all the time at home, I'd think about how I wished I had a boyfriend like him and then I'd think about how encouraging and sweet he was to me. I never had a boyfriend before so it's normal for you to wonder but I remember feeling so happy every time he messaged me and asked about my day or what I was doing. It was just such encouraging and caring.<br><br>I didn't know my brother was in a relationship until I came to visit him that winter. I recognised his girlfriend from social media but I was so surprised to find her in his house. She was supposed to be studying abroad but they were together ever since and they made plans to move in together. I was very encouraging and I didn't want to ruin it for them so I never mentioned how it felt to see them together. I just knew it wasn't right. I was growing more and more resentful towards her and she got very standoff-ish with me. I was shocked because I thought I'd been friendly and I'd always been kind to her but she accused me of flirting with him and blowing up his phone with messages. It was an easy misunderstanding because he'd check on me and I'd ask him to play games with me after work. Not only that but I was so attached to him and I wanted to be as close is possible. It just never clicked that I was being too clingy or that I was being inappropriate. They aren't together anymore. He broke up with her about two years ago.<br><br>I think things changed for us when we went on a trip together. I was 19 and he was 23 and things just felt different between us. We'd been out of touch for a while, especially after the breakup, and I didn't hear from him for about two years. I finished high school and started college and I was feeling really settled but I wanted to travel because I'd never seen the world. He invited me to join him on his trip and I met him in another country. We travelled together and he started showing me physical affection and holding me and I started feeling like his wife. It was so natural and it was like we both knew it was how things were meant to be. We started having sex that trip and we are still together. We have a baby together. We are still inseparable.<br><br>I don't know if it matters but we do not share a father. Not only that but our mum is not even sure who she was with before she was with my dad and he was born. I've got comments saying that incest is disgusting and I understand that but I don't think it's my place to shame someone else. I don't think our relationship is disgusting. I think it's amazing and I feel so lucky. I can finally admit it now but I've never felt this way about anyone before. I was terrified of being rejected growing up but I felt so comfortable expressing myself with him. I feel very encouraging and very safe in my relationship. <br><br>It's been such a long and difficult journey but we've overcome so many hurdles and we're just finally growing into a happy family. <br><br>I just wanted to start a conversation to open people up to the idea of incest relationships. It's not always natural (it was for us) and it's always complicated (in our case) but it can also be beautiful. I don't think it's wrong. I don't feel guilty and I'm not ashamed.