I'm gonna be becoming an ungrateful incel?

I like to see myself as a bit of a snowflake who doens't take himself too seriously. On the inside however I'm bitter as fuck. Living in London I spend a lot of money to live in a tiny ass studio. I'm a recent graduate, 23 years old and from a completely average background with an average degree from an average university. I'm a software engineer. I earn pretty good, £50,000 but I'm also becoming an incel, to some extent. <br><br>Dating is like pulling teeth. I can't understand women and I'm starting to hate their guts. I played the game and eventually got a girlfriend whom I loved but she dumped me for just "not feeling it" and I've not dated properly since then; which is partly because of the pandemic. I sometime wonder if I was an pussy to let go of there and wonder if I'd still have a girlfriend if I'd acted differently. I also have this feeling of the "grass is always greener on the other side" and that I'll never be satisfied even if I do get a girlfriend.<br><br>I can't be bothered with dating and I'm going to start giving up, looking for alternatives. I'll gladly pay for a professional one night stand if it wasn't illegal in the UK. In fact, it's already illegal in the UK so I guess that's exactly what I'm going to do, go full on breaking the law. I'm gonna be a degenerate and I'm not ashamed, fuck it.<br><br>I don't have a problem with the sexualisation of women, if anything I think it's a good thing. I also don't have a problem with prostitution. I've just got a problem that it's illegal, it's stupid. I've used those websites and they're a godsend. Women are the ones selling and men are the ones buying. It's a drain on women. They're the ones commodifying themselves and it's stupid for me to feel guilty about it. <br><br>So yeah, I'm gonna be a degenerate. I'm gonna be paying for sex and I'm gonna be giving myself up to a profession for a god bit of my life. I'm gonna be a punching bag for my bosses to vent on. I'm gonna be spending most of my time sitting in a box while in tremendous debt. I'm gonna have to play to the tune of all the different stakeholders from investors to colleagues to customers while barely getting a share of the winnings. I'm gonna be surrounded by the obnoxious, the selfish and the fake who are gonna step on me and watch me burn to get ahead. <br><br>I'm not going go full lobster, but I'm not gonna play by the rules. I'm gonna live my life for me and not some random moral code that was forced on me by society. Fuck it.