My wife [28F] was unable to handle a "fat" joke directed at me [29M] by a friend [29M] at my birthday party

# UPDATE: I called 3 times, she didn't answer again. No text from her either. I sent my friend home as he was just hovering around, eaten the food with the dog and headed to my parents' place. My mom convinced me to stay here for the night with the pup. Headed home, laid my head down on the couch, spent some time with the dog and then it hit me - she called 911 and told them she was being held hostage! I headed to the jail (make a long story short, I could only speak to her as the police and paramedics were still there and the officers said I could see her in the morning, not tonight). When I talk to her, she needs to explain to me what got her out of her funk and what she did with my laptop so I can make a decision. I'm out of my depth.<br><br>This is one of those, "you won't believe what my wife did" moments. I just turned 29 days ago and decided to hang out in my friend's house to play 2k and watch the game. I invited some mutual friends and we were all having a great time. One of my friends, let's call him Jake, said some joke that went something like, "Yooo, [me] is getting a lil chonky!" (I'm 5'10 175 lbs and pretty lean for a guy who doesn't lift).<br><br>I laughed it off as I've been friends with this guy since high school. He wasn't trying to hurt my feelings nor does he think I'm overweight. My wife however did not like that joke and was visibly upset. She gave Jake a death stare and went in the other room. I tried to talk to her about it but she just said she didn't like it and was going home with the dog (we have a 2 year old pitbull). Jake felt horrible and tried to apologize to her but she didn't want to hear it. I told her not to drive upset and to go to my parent's house instead. I didn't want to end my night with my friends so I stayed over while she just took the dog with her.<br><br>The icing on the cake is I wake up the next morning to a text saying, "You want to be a joke, you'll be a joke." What the hell does that even mean? I can't go home because she's angry over what Jake said? I have to go to work tomorrow. I asked why she was being so mean to me. My parents and Jake said I shouldn't have let her drive angry. Can we just not blame me for everything? It's not my fault she's mean. Jake was just kidding around. She's always been touchy about my weight but this is not justified. What should I do now?<br><br># UPDATE: I think it's safe to say my wife went crazy. She called 911, told them I held her hostage at gunpoint and had the police and ambulance come to the house. She asked for a ride to my parent's house and I guess the police said they couldn't take her and that she needed to take an Uber. I think she paid the Uber driver with my money (she doesn't have cash) and asked my parents to let her in the house. I'm not sure what she said, but my parents said my laptop was missing. She's been acting really cold all day, not answering my calls and not responding to my texts. I'm not going to drive 30 minutes to talk to someone who told the police I held her hostage. Jake said I should look into a restraining order but that seems crazy. I just want my laptop and some answers as to what's going through her head.