My (32F) boyfriend (32M) wanted an open relationship. I got tired of waiting and started dating other people.

So I am not sure if this is a weird story or not in the era of Tinder, but in the 3+ years that my partner and I have been dating, we have never broken up, and we've never seen other people.<br><br>Andrew is amazing. We share a sweet little house together in the suburbs. We have saved up for a big wedding, and we're planning to get married next year.<br><br>Things are great, but there is one thing in particular that I have never felt comfortable with. I have never felt comfortable with the concept of an open relationship. My parents had an open relationship when I was younger, and it didn't end well. I would hear stories from my cousins about how my dad would bring his other women over.<br><br>So I was a bit shocked when Andrew brought it up to me over sushi this summer. He says that he loves me, but he wanted an open relationship. He went on and on about how he loves me so much, and he wants to explore other experiences outside of our relationship. I reassured him that I love him just as much, but that I didn't want an open relationship.<br><br>Of course I was upset. It felt like all the things he said about how much he loved me were lies. But he convinced me to just sit on it and think about it. I did, and I thought harder than I had thought about anything in a long time. I even talked to my sister about it. I thought about how hard it would be to have Andrew never see other people, and I thought about how much I didn't want to lose him. It felt like I was choosing between options that were both terrible.<br><br>After about three weeks of thinking about it, I decided that I just can't do it. I can't do something that goes against my values this much. So I broke up with him.<br><br>After I broke up with him, I got really lonely and anxious. I was unexpectedly unemployed in the middle of a recession, and I didn't have the support of my usual partner. I connected with an old friend that I had been friends with since middle school. We were never romantically involved, but we were always close.<br><br>Sam and I met up at a Starbucks one night. We had both stopped drinking coffee at night a long time ago, but it was one of the only places that was open late. He was also single and lonely, and I was happy to have a friend that I could hang out with. We ended up talking for hours and hours. We went out to dinner several nights a week, and I started to stop missing Andrew. I started to forget what he smelled like, and to forget the way he would watch TV with his feet in my lap.<br><br>I still miss Andrew terribly, but that feeling is gone now. I don't feel lonely without him anymore, and it's all because Sam is there. Sam and I aren't dating, but he is a very good looking man. I am sure that if I wanted him to, he would be interested. Sometimes I wonder if he was trying to get with me because he was jealous. I don't want to date Sam, though. I am not interested in Sam like that, but I still think he's really good looking.<br><br>I don't know what to do. I have been thinking about getting back together with Andrew, but I am also afraid. If I do, will he think that I want him to be my backup in case things don't work with Sam? Sometimes I feel like I want to get back together with Andrew because I want to explore other experiences outside of our relationship, but that is something I said I didn't want to do.<br><br>So I'm asking you - is it okay to go back to an old relationship after spending time with someone else?<br><br>TL;DR: My boyfriend wanted an open relationship, but I didn't. I broke up with him, and I started spending a lot of time with my friend Sam. Should I get back together with Andrew, or would that be weird?<br><br>EDIT: Thank you all for the helpful advice. I went and talked to Andrew. He said that he doesn't want to get back together with me, but he does want to be friends.