AITA for telling my son to either invite his new family to Christmas or to stay with them this year?

My son got married about three months ago to his long time girlfriend. They've known each other since grade school and have basically grown up together. For most of their relationship, they were in the 'friend zone' but last year they started dating and it just kind of fell into marriage.<br><br>The problem we're having is that his new wife, Rebbecca, is very unlike our son. She's very entitled and we had to threaten to not come to the wedding unless they started letting us pay our own way for things. The reception was very small affair. Only a handful of people and it was a prepackaged meal from a grocery store. She didn't want us to buy a full catered meal because she said it was a waste of money on her family, which she said she doesn't like anyway. My son and his wife have been living with her family for the last three months as they save up for a house.<br><br>Christmas is obviously approaching very fast now and we got a call from my son asking if he could come to stay with us for Christmas but said that they might have to call it off because of his wife. She wants to spend Christmas with her family. My wife and I were a bit confused about this because we thought they were living with her family and felt forced to be there. My son admitted that they're being treated pretty poorly but she wanted to be close to her sister and brother. He said that his wife doesn't like driving long distances and she's currently pregnant so she doesn't want to travel too far. My son said he understand it and will probably just stay where they are but we have to call off Christmas. My wife and I were pretty annoyed at this. We have a big Christmas party every year and inviting my son is a long standing tradition.<br><br>My wife told our son that we completely understand that he can't leave his wife for the holiday but we're not canceling Christmas. If he's not coming this year then fine but we're not going to cancel Christmas because she's calling him off. My son told us that we were being selfish and that we should prioritize him over anything else. My wife was fairly anger and told him he needed to get his priorities straight and that he could either come without his wife or stay with her. If she doesn't want to come then that's fine but he needs to stop catering to her. He got very angry and called us cruel.<br><br>I told him that we're not being cruel, we have a family to think about and can't just cancel Christmas because of his wife's whims. I told him he either invites her and she comes or he stays with her but we're celebrating as a family and can't change plans just to suit him. He said we were being controlling and that we need to accept that she's not going to travel for the holidays and we should respect her for that. My wife told him that we can't accept that because it's our tradition and we can't just change it all for her.