Just spent the last 15 minutes typing up a long post on this chamber, and when I clicked submit, I logged out and lost the whole post:(

So I’m going to have to retype it here. I’m not sure how to feel. I’m trying to rationalize this and understand why it is happening and what I need to do to make it work.<br><br>I met my ex-husband when I was 18 and we were married when I was 23. I know it’s not like I’m over the hill by any means, but I’m starting to feel like I’m getting older and I want to start a family. My ex-husband and I were married for 7 years. We had a baby that was stillborn, therefore I can not have children now. <br><br>I have always had really low self esteem, partly because of my body and partly because who I am as a person and how I talk. I have never been the cool kid. I have always been an outsider. I have a few friends, but I don’t really hang out with them. I have always been the fat kid. I’ve lost a lot of weight over the last few years. The problem is, I don’t know how to talk to people or interact with them. I’m not the most interesting person. I can be quite negative and sarcastic. Even though I lost the weight, I am not the cool kid. I’m just a 30 year old unmarried childless women, and I don’t know what I am doing with my life. <br><br>I am not good with men. I have tried dating a few times and it always ends badly. I don’t like dating apps. I want to find someone organically, but it never really happens. I’m not the type of person a man is going to hit on at a party or anything. My current job sucks. I am constantly being sexually harassed and no one will do anything about it. <br><br>I’m looking for a new job now, but in the meantime, I am going to therapy to work on my confidence and self esteem. I am trying to learn to not let my past dictate my future. I am trying to not let my self esteem get to me. I am trying to learn to interact with people. <br><br>I hope this therapy will work, but I’m not really sure. I’m scared that I’m always going to be this way and I’m never going to find happiness.