my friends are upping my social anxiety instead of helping me overcome it

i (29F) was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder about four years ago. up until then, i never knew that what i was experiencing was a part of a full-blown illness, or at least i pretended not to understand.<br><br>i discussed it with a psychologist (xp), and he worked closely with me to understand the full extent of my condition and overcome it. as a part of my therapy, i promised myself to be a lot more social. i couldn’t have asked for better friends. they’re all encouraging, understanding, and caring. they’re my biggest supporters, and i have nothing but love and respect for them.<br><br>being socially anxious isn’t an easy thing to overcome, but with the help of my friends and a lot of effort on my side, i can honestly say i’ve started to notice the difference. even with my coworkers, i used to find it hard to open up to them, but now i’m a lot more relaxed.<br><br>i don’t want to come across as unappreciative, but the least i expected from my closest friends was some level of understanding. unfortunately, that’s not the case. don’t get me wrong, they’ve been incredibly supportive, but when it comes to this aspect, i have nothing but complaints. <br><br>my friends always talk me into engaging in group activities. we’ve had our share of gatherings, meetings, and outings, but sometimes i find it hard to be around too many people. it’s not that i don’t enjoy their company; it’s that i get really anxious when i’m surrounded by crowds.<br><br>i recently agreed to attend a family gathering with them. the first thing that came to my mind was “how will i handle all of the introductions and conversations?” but i took it as a trial, a chance to work on myself and overcome my social anxiety.<br><br>i got up the next morning feeling absolutely terrible. i had no energy, no willpower, no appetite, and no desire to go anywhere. it was all just too much for me to handle.<br><br>i called my friends, explaining that i won’t be attending the gathering, and giving them a valid reason for why. they got angry with me and told me i’m letting my social anxiety “win.” i tried explaining that it’s not something you can simply ignore, but they didn’t listen. they continued blaming me for not trying hard enough, as if overcoming social anxiety disorder is just a matter of willpower. <br><br>sometimes, i just need to be alone. being surrounded by people can be overwhelming on some days, and my friends refuse to understand this aspect. they don’t see anything wrong with pushing me to be more social, but they don’t realize that sometimes, being alone helps.<br><br>i know it’s not their fault. being socially anxious is something they can’t relate to, and no one can blame them for that. still, it doesn’t change the fact that my friends are upping my social anxiety instead of helping me overcome it.<br><br>this post is just a vent and not meant as an attack on my friends in any way.