I was an ultra-conservative Christian until a year ago. Here's my experience with conservative Christianity and why I think witchcraft is deprograming a lot of us

Hi everyone, I've been in here for a while now, and I've noticed a lot of posts from women who grew up as ultra-conservative Christians who are now finding solace, comfort, and healing in witchcraft and goddess worship. Every time I see a post like this, I am moved because I went through the same thing. Maybe this will add some context/insight. I wasn't raised ultra-conservative Christian: I became that way in college. But I grew up in a conservative Christian household and have been raised in conservative churches my whole life. <br><br>I used to be a huge supporter of Trump. I was anti-abortion, anti-stem cell research, anti-gay marriage. I used to believe in conversion therapy, and I thought that the patriarchy didn't exist. I was also super critical of the women's movement and feminism, which I saw as a direct threat to my Christianity. I still remember telling a friend that I didn't think sexism was a thing for women after being catcalled while walking down the street. I was so brainwashed by my church and my faith to see myself as lesser than men and to only see myself as half a person without a husband. I stuck by Trump even after hearing the Access Hollywood tape because I thought it was just a normal thing for men to say and do. I used to also think that all women asking for equal pay were lying and lazy. I was convinced that women were treated equally to men in the workplace and that women who complained about equal pay were just trying to get money. I used to also be afraid to do anything that might seem 'feminine' or 'girly.' I thought makeup and hair were shallow. I regret all of it now. I was so deluded and controlled by my conservative Christianity that I'd convinced myself I wasn't a woman at all. At the time, I thought I was 'one of the guys' and that this meant I was equal. It didn't. Being 'one of the guys' is just another way women get their femininity stripped from them. <br><br>It was only when the pandemic hit and I was alone with my thoughts that I started questioning everything. If you are a Christian, you should know that conservatives do not want you to think critically. They want you to be obedient, and they want you to be blind and stupid. Questioning my Christianity, my upbringing, and my political views felt like the biggest sin imaginable. I was terrified. I had no idea how to function without God, and I had no clue who I was outside of Christianity. When I started to look critically at the facts around abortion STEM cell research, gay marriage, women's rights, and feminism, I began to realize how much I'd been lied to and how deeply I'd been manipulated. I realized that conservatives had convinced me that I was nothing without them or God. It's called gaslighting. Conservatives will convince you that up is down and that your memories, experiences, and opinions are invalid. The moment you question something or stop believing, you realize how controlled you were. <br><br>That was a very painful thing for me. I had to rebuild my entire life. I had to find out who I was outside of Christianity. I had to find out what being a woman meant to me and what being feminine meant to me. I had to do all of this while mourning the loss of my old life. My journey with witchcraft started with just trying to heal. It started off with just wanting to feel better, to be able to sleep at night and function. But it's grown into something more beautiful than I could have imagined. Every time I see a post from a woman who is leaving Christianity for goddess worship and witchcraft, I remember my own journey. I think that a lot of us former Christians who are coming to find healing in this sub are not just drawn to the spiritual aspects of witchcraft, but to the feminine energy in it. <br><br>I never knew what it meant to be a woman, and I hate my old church for that. I feel like I was castrated of my womanhood and my femininity, and that I was conditioned to view anything related to women as lesser than. Womanhood and femininity were seen as "worldly" and therefore "sinful." But I've learned that my body is my own. I've learned that I am a goddess. And I've learned that being a woman is a beautiful thing. I've learned what it is to be in a sisterhood of women who support me, and it's changed my life. I think of all the women in this sub who are coming from ultra-conservative Christianity who are also finding that sisterhood. I think of all the women in this sub who used to think of themselves as "one of the guys" to escape their femininity. I have so much joy knowing that we're all in this together, seeing the same things, growing into the same realization that who we are as women is beautiful, valuable, and sacred. It's okay to see the beauty in masculinity, and you can do that without devaluing your own femininity. The conservatives want us to be ashamed of our bodies and ashamed of our gender. I think that all of us former Christians are at a crossroads. Our pasts are filled with trauma, and many of us are still healing. But we're finding solace in the same thing, which is the goddess in each of us. The world desperately needs that feminine energy, and I think that all of us can bring that back and heal the collective consciousness of humanity. I'm glad that we're all in this together.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit: I think there's a bit of confusion. I did not grow up conservative Christian. I only became ultra-conservative Christian in college and shortly after. The rest of my life, I was just moderately conservative Christian. I think there's a bit of confusion there. I also want to be clear that deprogramming from conservative Christianity is very traumatic. Many of us are literally deprogramming from a cult. If you know someone who is going through this and is taking time to heal or figure their life out, be patient and compassionate.