A conversation with my sister before she died

She just walked in, went straight for the computer and started playing solitaire.<br><br>I was shocked.<br><br>A few minutes later, she turned and looked at me.<br><br>You wanna talk?<br><br>I couldn’t talk. I was so surprised to see her again. There was a lump in my throat. I could only nod and we sat next to each other.<br><br>She looked exactly the same as she did during her last days. Thin, weak, wearing the headband to cover up her hair loss from the drugs, and with all the tubes stuck in her. I’d never seen her like this before, as a grown adult. She was about 8 when she died. I just wish I could have seen her grow into a healthy woman.<br><br>You know I’ve always wanted to talk to you, right? I said, breaking the silence.<br><br>She nodded.<br><br>I had wanted to talk to her for years after she passed. I’d talk to her photo and the ceiling every night after dark. Ask her how she was doing, if she was in heaven, and a million other questions that I would never get answers to.<br><br>I’d like to think that I’m not really talking to her now, but rather my subconscious. She was only in my room for about 15 minutes, but in that time, she answered every question that I had about her, her death, and our relationship. Here’s a transcript of the things she said to me. This is my diary entry from that night.<br><br>Hey, I know this conversation is a little weird, but I never got to talk to you while I was alive. I’m here now though.<br><br>I always thought about you even when I was sick. I was so happy to see you grow up to be strong and healthy. I’m proud of you.<br><br>You know I didn’t know I was dying, right? Mom and dad knew, but they were too sad to tell me, so they just told me I was going to feel better soon.<br><br>You’re going to be okay, you’re strong.<br><br>I want you to be strong too.<br><br>When I was sick, I was in a lot of pain. But I wasn’t afraid of dying.<br><br>I was scared because I had to leave you behind.<br><br>I didn’t want to go without spending more time with you, or seeing you grow up and live your life.<br><br>I was so happy to see you everyday. Even though I couldn’t play or do anything with you, just seeing you and talking to you was so much fun.<br><br>I’m so grateful we got to spend as much time as we could together. You made my life so much better.<br><br>I know you tried to come see me, but I didn’t want you to see me in the state I was in. I didn’t want you to see me weak and sick, and I knew that you’d be upset seeing me like that.<br><br>So I told mom and dad not to let you see me. You were too young to understand, but they knew how much you loved me.<br><br>I was too weak to fight them on this, so I gave up.<br><br>I wanted to see you, I really did. More than you know.<br><br>I know I didn’t go out and play with you much when I was healthy. I wasn’t very nice to you when we played together. I’m so sorry for that.<br><br>Even though I wasn’t very nice to you, you always made an effort to be with me. You were so genuine and innocent, and I admired that about you.<br><br>I’m so glad we got to be sisters. I love you.<br><br>Please don’t forget me. Let’s meet again someday. I want to see you again, how you’ll look when you grow up.<br><br>Can you show me pictures of yourself from time to time?<br><br>I’d like that.<br><br>I’m going to go now, I feel like I can’t stay any longer.<br><br>I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer.<br><br>But I’m so happy that we got to meet again like this.<br><br>I love you.<br><br>There is nothing that I can say to her. I can only watch as she stands up from the computer and walks away.<br><br>I hear the front door open and close.<br><br>I run outside but she’s already gone.<br><br>It’s been about 10 years since that happened, and during that time, I’ve put her pictures from childhood and up to my wedding and childbirth on her grave. I still talk to her from time to time and let her know how things are going in my life. I hope she still hears me from wherever she is, and I’d be happy if she could see me again someday.<br><br>That’s the story of my conversation with my sister, the closest thing in my life to an angel.<br><br>Edit: omg I got gold?? Thank you so much kind stranger! :)