[UPDATE] My bf (24m) and his ex (20f) have a 4 year old daughter but he pretends she doesn’t exist. I (23f) got fed up and wrote her a letter.

I wasn’t going to do an update but I’ve been encouraged by many so here it is! Thank you for every single comment, message, etc I really did appreciate all of your advice. - the post was confusing? Because of my depression, I have a hard time recalling things so I apologize! <br><br>@ was my boyfriend who I’ll call “C” - I’ll stop calling him that now to avoid confusion. <br><br>I’ll break this down so it’s easy to read. Thank you again for all the support. <br><br>**The entire story:** C and I have been together for almost 2 years. He and his ex (S) had a DC (D). He blocked S on social media, and I only know her name because it’s D’s middle name. I don’t know the name of the town she lives in but I know the area, as it’s close by. (Less than an hour drive) We do not see D at all, he was last with D 4 years ago when D was 2 months old (D was a month old when he left D and S). If you’re curious as to why he hasn’t seen his daughter for this long, I don’t know. I do know that S’s sister and C had sex, and the baby was born with a skin condition - C and S (both under 21) accused each other of cheating so the baby’s paternity was called into question. That after almost two years of being together, C was served papers stating that he had to take a DNA test. - I’ve been told the results of the DNA test by C but I’m not sure if I can believe him, hence why I’m not stating here.<br><br>**The OG post-** after much deliberation, I got a bit sick of hearing about his ex and her family and how bad they are and he is. I decided to do something. I sat down one night and wrote a letter to S. - I just wrote a ton of reasons why I was who I was. How after seeing how much he played D’s age as a joke, how much he blamed her for being “young” for everything, how he never referred to D as his (I’ve never heard him say “my daughter”, only “his baby mom’s kid”) and just a list of other little things he did. I told her I had never intended on contacting her, I wanted to keep my distance. I just thought she deserved to know - she deserved to understand the kind of father her daughter had. <br><br>I put it in an envelope and sent it in the mail (I had to get my mom’s help finding her) about a month and a half ago.<br><br>My story got lost in all of the comments - I was a mess the night I posted so sorry about that.<br><br>About a month ago I got a text from C (I blocked his number) saying that S had called him (she had to block him so he hasn’t heard from her in 4 years). I looked at the text and got really sick. I was honestly hiding it in the hopes of getting my life together before confronting him about it. It went like this -<br><br>S - “Hey is this [C]? I need to talk to you.”<br><br>C - “Who’s this?”<br><br>S - “Don’t act surprised! I know you got my number! I just got a letter from a girl claiming to be your girlfriend. Just thought you should know - D’s doing well. Shes reading, she’s doing really good! And by the way, I’m not a teen! I’m actually 24. You just like to call me young so you can make yourself feel better!”<br><br>C - “I’m in shock. If you got a letter you never should have called me. I don’t know if you’re lashing out because the letter was hard to read, but don’t insult me!”<br><br>S - “I’m not trying to be mean! I’m just stating facts! You’ve never met the little girl you refer to as your “burden” - so of course you don’t know her! She’s my whole world. I love her and raise her on my own. I hope you can’t say it was a letter from your GF that made me realize my daughter deserves better than you!”<br><br>C - “I’m done! I don’t have time for a teenaged drama queen!”<br><br>C and I have been texting for the last month. He keeps saying he’s sorry and that he needs to get “stuff” off his mind but he’s been making excuses - “I’m not feeling good”, “I’m at my bf’s (his best friend)”, “I’m on the toilet”, “I’m at the gym”, etc. I’m aware I’m 23 years old and can just hang up my phone but he’s been making me feel guilty - “you never gave me a chance to explain why I had a child! You just assumed I was a bum boyfriend and ran!” That’s not true at all but he’s convinced me so much of it! <br><br>In my last text to him - he sent me the entire text with the one he says he “didn’t mean to send me”. The text is posted above. What I will say is it goes against many of the things he’s told me. Not the story about the skin condition and the DNA test but just how he claims he was treated by S and her family. He claims she was abusive to him “physically, mentally, emotionally, you name it”. He claims she was cheating on him with “every guy she met”. He claims he’s never met D or been to her house but he would know it anywhere. He claims he doesn’t want a relationship with D because “he’s not ready for that” and that he was going to apply for full custody but S said to give her the opportunity to be a full time mother first. That if she wanted to give up custody in the future he’d do so but D would do better with her. He’s also made it very clear that D is the reason he can’t have a healthy relationship. He claims that S accused him of being abusive (he claims that played a part in her saying he wasn’t D’s father)<br><br>**What I learned!** - my bf lied to me about his ex, his daughter, her aunt (who he apparently cheated on S - the mother - with), and many other things. While I’m glad I’m single now, I’m just feeling stupid? I don’t know how I was convinced I was the one who did something wrong?! I can’t be mad at him for “fooling” me or controlling me because it’s my fault for letting him control me so easily. That’s something I need to work on.<br><br>I think everything about this relationship is just stupid. Just stupid stupid stupid! But I have a year lease on my apartment so I’m stuck with it for the time being. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice on my last post. I also just wanted to thank everyone for their support. I’ve cried several times reading the comments, I’m just so overwhelmed. <br><br>**TLDR:** C and I (40 something days) broke up. He lied about a lot of things, I’m moving on. Thank you for all the support!