I can’t stand the idea of older women, even though all the men are just as bad if not worse

I first got my period at 13, I was sexually assaulted/raped by a 30 year old man at 14, and since then I’ve been consistently sexually harassed by men much older than me, I’m 19 now. I don’t know why, but the older older women (20s and up) just disgust me, they always look suspicious to me, I don’t trust them at all, I also am uncomfortable around them. I hate to admit it because I know they’re not all like that, but I just can’t help it, I feel even more unsafe then I do around men already. I even know an older woman in her late 30s is physically abusing and frightening a 3 year old girl with her husband (it’s a long story). I know the men are worse older/younger but it just makes me so uncomfortable and scared.